Latest statistics put the national capital area as the second worst gridlocked place in the country, second presumably to Los Angeles.
As a native Washingtonian, I’ve sensed for some years that congestion was getting worse.
Now I know why: the lawyers, the scandals, the lawsuits, the subpoenas and the stakeouts. Lawyers and journalists are clogging up everything in this town, bumping into each other at every turn.
Hardly a day goes by anymore without independent counsel Kenneth Starr subpoenaing someone or a lawsuit being filed against the Federal Communications Commission for this or that.
And then there’s my profession, journalists following all these clowns around.
But it’s worse than that. Now, as Groucho Marx once said, the pursuer is being pursued. Folks want Starr investigated by a special prosecutor. Meanwhile, journalists interview journalists on ratings-driven TV. The reporters get their stories and the lawyers run up more billable hours.
Speaking of which, it was quite amusing to hear telegenic lawyer William Ginsburg talk on national TV about a Lewinsky legal defense fund a la Clinton. But then, there’s Monica cruising glitsy downtown D.C., where the FCC wants to stay despite overtures otherwise, for a bite at Morton’s Steak House.
I suppose while she and her entourage waited for drinks and a good meal, a hat was passed around to collect $100 bills and shares of Microsoft stock.
It is with that backdrop that I also realize why official Washington is so enthralled in Zippergate. Not much else is going on. And you can’t tell Republicans and New Democrats apart. So boring.
Indeed, it’s business as usual at the FCC. The agency is back to wringing its hands over C-block PCS debt restructuring, driving Commissioner Ness nuts in the process.
… You heard by now that CTIA is donating $10,000 to fund a study on how to make wireless towers fit into historic and scenic Vermont. This is a fine idea. But I must remind my friend Tom Wheeler at CTIA that he has some catching up to do. You see, Tom, Vermontonians have been spoiled by Ben and Jerry’s.
The B & J Foundation in Vermont gave $323,000 in philanthropic grants in 1996. The smallest was $250 and the largest, $15,000.
So don’t be surprised if among Washington gridlock, Monica Lewinsky or Tom Wheeler comes up and asks if you can spare a dime. Noble causes require as much.
