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D.C. NOTES: PUNCHED OUT

On the subject of funding fiascoes-E911, cancer research, CALEA, school and library Net links, etc.-someone tell President Clinton that it’s not just drug czar Barry McCaffrey who needs money for a Madison Avenue make over.

The FBI and National Park Service could benefit from a slice of the $1 billion anti-drug ad budget, too.

These guys need serious help. They are at once mortal enemies and supreme advocates for the wireless industry on CALEA and federal-land antenna siting.

Take Louis Freeh and the boys. Seeing the tide turn against them in Congress via the Lofgren House amendment and perhaps feeling squeamish about the disinfecting sunlight of FCC protocol, the FBI tried a CALEA coup on Capitol Hill. And KABOOM!, it backfired. The FBI got punched out by the punch list.

By shopping a CALEA rewrite, which defiantly declared in Carvillian candor and Orwellian overtone, `We’re right and you’re wrong,’ the FBI marvelously made a federal case of Big Brother before the entire nation.

In doing so, the feds also made the case against `punch-list CALEA’ far better than weary wireless lobbyists and pesky privacy advocates ever could.

Now there are signs of a retreat and a shakeup within law enforcement on managing the CALEA issue. Looks like Justice’s Steve Colgate has taken charge.

Then there are our friends at the National Park Service, who decide at a critical stage of negotiations on Rep. Tauzin’s E911/federal-land antenna siting bill to dig in and force Bell Atlantic Mobile to counter a four-corners siting stall that would make ex-Tar Heel hoops Coach Dean Smith proud.

Beautiful. Billy and Dem Ed Markey do a deal on privacy, liability and cancer-research funding, and the bill is SLAM DUNKED through subcommittee.

I especially like NPS’ artful argument that maybe it would process a few more antenna-siting applications and do it faster were there a financial incentive, like a chunk of federal land antenna-siting fees now headed for E911 upgrades and FDA cancer research.

Well now, that’s interesting. You mean a 1995 presidential executive order and the 1996 telecom law isn’t incentive enough for NPS to get off its duff? Does it not realize that such defiance of the commander in chief is disrespectful if not fashionable?

How telling that fed landlords low-ball projected antenna-siting fee receipts, their not-too-subtle way of telegraphing to Congress that things ain’t about to change anytime soon.

On second thought, leave these guys alone. They’re doing wonders for wireless.

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