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Viewpoint: Finger pointing

So there we were, at the charming Ascot Dinner Theatre, anxiously awaiting the start of the program. The dancers (all around age 4) stepped out on stage in pink and white tutus, ballet slippers on, lipstick (!) applied, poised for the music to begin. And then, just as the first plie is performed, it happened. A man a few seats down got a call on his wireless phone. The audience groaned loudly in collective disdain.

Nothing can bring people together like watching their daughters and sons dance to Disney tunes except the instant community that comes from unified glaring at the poor soul who forgot to turn off his cell phone before entering the theater.

For all we know, the guy had to make the heart-wrenching decision whether to see his child’s first steps on stage vs. sitting beside his ill mother at the hospital. Maybe it was the hospital calling. But does anyone think along those lines? Of course not.

We immediately assume the guy is conducting business over the phone. (Business that takes him away from his precious child, of course, who he doesn’t spend near enough time with in the first place.)

There is no empathy for the person who receives an ill-timed wireless call. The backlash on cell-phone etiquette is increasing daily. Last week I saw a cartoon where a guy driving asks “How’s my driving? Call me on my cell phone.”

Today Nokia and the city of San Diego are announcing cell-phone courtesy week, and an accompanying campaign designed to teach people how to use their phones more politely in public. Part of the campaign includes a logo that identifies quiet zones, where courteous cell-phone use is encouraged.

Two other companies are introducing a concept that uses Bluetooth technology to automatically make quiet zones for wireless devices.

They are great ideas, but technology and logos are no replacement for good manners. Yes, we all agree that answering a cell phone at some times is unexcusable. But what disturbs me is that somehow it has become acceptable to be rude to people we perceive as rude. The children dancing were just as affected by the groan of the audience as they were the ringing of the phone. Why is the first interruption inappropriate but the second interruption OK?

The wireless industry is called upon to defend a number of issues, including the manners of all people using cell phones. So the next time someone points out someone else’s improper cell-phone etiquette, ask him when finger pointing became polite.

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