Hello!
And welcome to our Thursday column, Worst of the Week. There’s a lot of nutty stuff that goes on in this industry, so this column is a chance for us at RCR to rant and rave about whatever rubs us the wrong way. We hope you enjoy it!
And without further ado:
So Amp’d Mobile Inc. introduced its new prepaid service this week. That’s all well and great, but they also introduced a wonderfully sneaky 25-percent “surcharge” on their data features. The information about this surcharge (the “bend over” charge, as I like to call it) is so well hidden in the fine print on the carrier’s Web site that our intrepid reporter Kelly Hill should get a medal or something for even finding it. Seriously, it’s like Amp’d didn’t want its customers to know about it!
So now, thanks to the “content surcharge,” instead of paying 10 cents to send a text message you actually have to pay 12.5 cents. Or $1.24 for a “99 cent” music download. Moconews tells me that the 25-percent surcharge is for taxes and stuff, the same as for a postpaid account, but then why not just add the “surcharge” into the “regular charge?”
(But I’m not really knocking Amp’d. After all, their content portal is pretty cool.)
Indeed, Amp’d Mobile’s scheme isn’t really all that bad, or even surprising. They aren’t the first company to hide extra charges in the fine print. In fact, hidden fees, surcharges and other billing anomalies have become a fundamental part of the wireless industry. Just look at your cell-phone bill from last month—do you recognize all the charges? A year-and-a-half after signing up for my cell-phone service, I’m still getting a $10 credit every month for… something. I have no idea what it’s for, but I will never, ever tell my carrier about it for fear that they will come looking for all 18 months worth of that $10 credit.
The real thing about the “content surcharge” from Amp’d is that it’s another example of a wireless service that’s simply too freaking expensive.
Let me explain: Amp’d is one of billions and billions and billions of companies that want to make money off the “young, urban, hip and loaded” crowd. As far as I can understand it, this demographic consists of 25-year-old white men who have all the free time in the world and a closet full of untraceable $100 bills. They are the tanned, thin people you see in those annoying Old Navy TV commercials.
Amp’d, Helio L.L.C., Verizon Wireless, Motorola Inc. and a bunch of others have all geared their advertising to tap into this apparently unlimited market.
Unfortunately, I am not part of this market, nor is anyone I know. I’m actually part of the “El Cheapo Bandito” demographic, the part of the market that would never, ever in a million years sign up for a service with a “content surcharge.”
The El Cheapo Bandito demographic is easy to spot. We’ve got crappy cars, we like Coors Light because it’s the cheapest beer at the store, and our haircuts are suspect at best because our spouse usually cuts our hair while we sit on a folding chair out in the yard.
In wireless, the El Cheapo Bandito demographic does not pay $10 a month for mobile TV (mobile TV=2 six packs). We don’t download $7 games (1 game=1.5 six packs). We would never actually send someone a picture message (20 picture messages=1 six pack). Instead, we use the Google SMS service to find out phone numbers and directions because it costs 10 cents vs. the $1.50 it costs to call 411.
In wireless, we’re almost totally ignored, except by a select few. Virgin Mobile USA L.L.C. is looking at the El Cheapo crowd with its new ad-supported prepaid service. Xero Mobile too has the right idea with its forthcoming ad-supported service for college students. And Motorola’s got my number with a $30 phone. I’m hoping there will be others.
So that’s my call to the industry: Enough with the “fast, fresh and on the edge” content surcharges, and forget the $10 per month mobile TV service. You all should put your big marketing brains together and figure out a way to save me some freaking money.
OK! Enough of that. Thanks for checking out this Worst of the Week column. And now, some extras:
- Worst quote of the week: “The federal appeals courts have spoken across the board. It’s time to `disconnect’ this tax and put it on the permanent `do not call’ list.”—Treasury Secretary John Snow.
- Worst product of the week: UpSnap saves us from the Bird Flu. Up next, UpSnap solves the Iranian nuclear problem!
- And finally, worst shameless self promotion of the week: Sign up now for RCR’s Daily News Update. After all it’s FREE! (meaning, more money for Coors. MMMMM, Coors.)
I welcome your comments. Please send me an e-mail at mdano@crain.com.
