Hello!
And welcome to our Thursday column, Worst of the Week. There’s a lot of nutty stuff that goes on in this industry, so this column is a chance for us at RCR Wireless News to rant and rave about whatever rubs us the wrong way, which as we grow older appears to be most things. We hope you enjoy it!
So, this week Cingular finally joined Verizon Wireless and Sprint Nextel in offering a music service to its subscribers. Although the carrier has offered several Motorola handsets embedded with Apple’s iTunes platform for some time, the new Cingular Music service is the carrier’s first branded offering. However, unlike its competitors, Cingular decided to partner with already available online subscription services from the likes of Yahoo, Napster and eMusic with the magic link accomplished by Microsoft’s love-it-or-hate-it PlaysForSure digital-rights-management platform. Cingular even launched a cool Samsung phone, dubbed the “Synch,” to go along with the service.
Finally, Cingular customers can download “Baby on Board” from The Be Sharps while on the go.
While I was glad to see Cingular do something to differentiate itself from Verizon Wireless and Sprint Nextel, I am still a bit baffled by the whole cellphone/MP3 player combination trend, and more importantly the increasingly Swiss-Army-Knifing* of the cell phone.
*(This theory of course refers to how a Swiss Army Knife with a knife blade, nail file, scissor and bottle opener is a handy and pocketable tool, while adding the cork screw, limb saw, fishing hook de-hooker, second knife blade, screw driver, pliers and magnifying glass makes for a deadly tool that can only result in the loss of blood.)
Now, don’t get me wrong. I enjoy combining as much functionality as possible into a single device that is more complicated and prone to cause skin-color-changing fits of rage as the next person. I also think its cool when I end up throwing my new, super cool cell phone/MP3 player/flashlight/bottle opener/stapler into a lake because I can’t figure out how to load more staples, only to realize that all of my phone numbers are saved in the cell phone portion and I forgot to buy screw top beer bottles.
Mobile phones have made a great basis for several add-on capabilities. Camera phones are pretty sweet and the resolution is getting good enough to supplant most low-end digital cameras. And I have annoyed countless co-workers and friends with my unnatural fascination regarding GPS-enabled mapping applications. (Look! It knows where I’m at! Now it’s following me!) But as with most attempts to combine two or more needs into one device, most phone-based combinations leave much to be desired.
(As a side note, the only combination that has zero deficiencies is chocolate and peanut butter, which somehow formed the best candy of all time, Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. And when combined with Dairy Queen soft-serve—notice I don’t even dare call it ice cream—forms the perfect food: A Peanut Butter Cup Blizzard. Mmm, Peanut Butter Cup Blizzard.)
Need further evidence for my increasingly muddled argument? I am the proud owner of a VCR and a DVD player as well as a combo VCR/DVD player—that’s right, there is good money in journalism. Playing a movie through either the standalone VCR or DVD player is a simple process: Insert tape or disc. Push play. Enjoy.
As for the “more advanced” VCR/DVD combo, the steps are: Insert tape or disc. Push play. Stare at a blank screen. Realize I need to push the VCR/DVD player button on the remote control. Look around room for remote control. Begin turning over furniture in fit of rage looking for remote control. Yell at wife over where she hid the remote control. Get into argument with wife over who used the remote control last. Realize I cannot win this argument and begin throwing out inflammatory claims about her cooking and how she was always jealous of my juggling abilities.
Nowhere in the steps for the VCR/DVD combo—or for that matter in reading this diatribe—is there any enjoyment.
Now, back to the overburdened cell phone. Instead of trying to add more gee-whiz functions, maybe carriers and handset vendors should add more practical capabilities. How about improving technology to prolong battery life? Or advancing antenna technology so I can make phone calls from my basement? Or improving microphone technology so people don’t feel the need to yell into their phones?
OK! Enough of that. Thanks for checking out this Worst of the Week column. Wanna check out other Worst of the Week entries? Click here for past columns. And now, some extras:
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Palm is apparently so desperate for any form of publicity that they sent out a press release this week touting the Treo smart phone’s role in the upcoming Russell Crowe chick-flick “A Good Year.” According to Palm: “The Treo smart phone makes its presence known with its signature ringtone and unique messaging and multimedia capabilities that compelled filmmakers to choose it over a separate cell phone, laptop and digital camera.” But wait, it gets better. Palm’s John Hartnett adds this delicious quote: “The Palm Treo smart phone was chosen for its good looks and more. It brings deep communications capabilities, a passion for multimedia and a wide range of applications that would allow ‘Max’ to do everything from manage his business to choose a great wine.” You can’t make up stuff this good.
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Just in time for the holiday season, the latest Consumer Reports magazine offers its pick of the best gifts in more than 50 categories. For our purposes, the most relevant is the “smart phones” category, which is topped by Nokia’s P300. According to Consumer Reports, the Nokia P300 is available to Cingular customers for $300. The punch line? There is no Nokia P300.
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Mexican holding company America Telecom announced plans to merge with Mexican wireless provider America Movil. So far, not a very exciting story, and definitely not worthy of WOTW inclusion. But, America Telecom is reportedly controlled by billionaire Carlos Slim. That has got to be the coolest name for a billionaire.
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Sony is set to launch its Playstation 3 game console next week. There is not any real wireless angle to this except that the device’s game controllers use Bluetooth technology. I’m just hoping that someone at Sony will read this and send me a demo model.
