Worst of the Week: I want my Pringles!

Hello!
And welcome to our Thursday column, Worst of the Week. There’s a lot of nutty stuff that goes on in this industry, so this column is a chance for us at RCR Wireless News to rant and rave about whatever rubs us the wrong way. We hope you enjoy it!
And without further ado:
So, I know I’m a few weeks late on the news and it has been covered every which way from Thursday, but I have to comment on the recent mobile television announcements from Verizon Wireless and Modeo. (As a benefit of my tardiness, I can claim more time to sift through the information in an attempt to provide a more thorough and thoughtful analysis, but anyone who knows me knows that is not true. I am a reactionary person who gives most topics mere seconds before making a rash decision.)
Both companies announced plans to launch mobile television services during the first quarter. The announcements hit during the recent CES show in Las Vegas, which is the best place to visit.except during CES. Verizon Wireless offered details on its channel lineup, running on Qualcomm’s MediaFLO network, and Modeo launched a trial in New York.
Now, I know mobile TV has everyone foaming from the mouth, but I don’t get the attraction.
From what Verizon Wireless, Qualcomm and Modeo have said, their services will provide customers at most a couple of dozen channels of live, streaming television that will be selected by the companies, most likely based on some sort of pay for play arrangement.
So if I have read and understood their plans correctly, if I sign up for one of these services I will have access to about 24 live television channels. Now, what if Verizon Wireless decides to offer MTV as one of its channels, but I am more interested in MTV2, MTV Jams or MTV Hits, which actually show music videos? Haven’t they learned that I want my MTV?
A couple dozen channels might seem impressive from a mobile point of view, but in this day and age of hundreds of cable channels, that won’t cut it.
Also, it seems that anywhere someone can sit down to watch a television, there is a television. Now, it might not be playing exactly what you want to see, but what are the chances that one of the 24 channels offered by Verizon Wireless or Modeo is exactly what you want to see?
The one place where televisions are rare is in automobiles, and the thought of people attempting to watch the tube while putting on make-up, eating breakfast, sending a text and.oh, yeah, driving their Canyonero, leaves me warm with rage and fear inside. (Though, I have to admit, I am usually warm inside from rage and fear.)
And what could they possibly charge for mobile TV? I have spent way too much time going over in my head what I would be willing to pay for the chance to watch a handful of channels selected by someone else on a tiny screen.
First I thought they could charge something like $30 per month for the service and market it like: “For only $1 per day you could be watching one of 24 channels we have selected on a screen not much bigger than a Pringle. What are you waiting for? Order now!” But then I thought that might be too expensive. And what if someone only wanted to watch for an hour or have access for only a day? Then I got hungry for Pringles.
After downing a tube of bacon and cheese-flavored Pringles, I thought about a daily access fee of say $5 or maybe a week for $10. Would people be willing to pay $10 per week to watch a limited selection of channels on their mobile phone?
Seemed like a bit of a stretch, but then my stomach began to hurt-damn you Pringles! Why must you taste so good?!
After a quick nap, I began to ponder other problems with mobile television.
What about battery life? I can imagine a user getting a nasty surprise when, after watching an MTV Real World marathon, they switch off the mobile TV service only to discover they only have enough juice to send off one text message.
What about trying to listen to a television show? Most wireless users seem averse to wearing a headset when talking on the phone, why would they put one in for watching television? They could just crank it up and share the insightful banter between Real World roommates.
What about the children? I really didn’t know how kids fit into the whole equation, but for some reason we are supposed to think about them when looking into the future.
At the end of the day all I could come up with was that mobile television was a bad idea, and that maybe I should cut down on my MTV watching and Pringle eating.
OK! Enough of that. Thanks for checking out this Worst of the Week column. And now, some extras:
–Can you believe the continued buzz over the iPhone-or whatever it will eventually be called? Besides the fact that it’s being made by Apple, I can’t figure out what all the hubbub is about. The no-stylus thing is kinda cool, but I can use my fingers on most smartphones now. The design is definitely sweet, but I imagine competing vendors will not be resting on their sketchpads for the next six months. In fact, LG announced last week plans to have a similar device in stores by next month. And, oh year, the iWhatever won’t be out for six months at the earliest.
–Wresting franchise Total Nonstop Action Wresting signed an exclusive mobile deal with digital entertainment company New Motion Inc. Apparently people can watch TNA’s (get it?) line up of “athletes” including Sting, Christian Cage, The Latin American Exchange and of course the TNA Knockout babes. And as if that lineup was not enough, they also wrestle in a six-sided ring, which is of course far better than those old-fashioned four-sided rings.
–Hands-on Mobile signed a deal with 3H Group for the distribution of mobile content based on the MeeGos range of customizable characters. The MeeGos are animated graphics that act out emotions based on the corresponding emoticons entered by the user. This would be where I enter the raging ball of anger emoticon.