Worst of the Week: Contact list + phone = valuable

Hello!
And welcome to our Thursday column, Worst of the Week. There’s a lot of nutty stuff that goes on in this industry, so this column is a chance for us at RCRWireless.com to rant and rave about whatever rubs us the wrong way. We hope you enjoy it!
And without further ado:
So I recently purchased a smartphone. I happily upgraded to it from the Moto Razr. I’m very happy with my new smartphone because it can do amazing things that feature phones can’t, like quickly access e-mail, run a range of third-party apps, cook me dinner and sing me softly to sleep every night.
But I did encounter one significant issue in moving from the Razr to my smartphone: transferring my contacts list.
Now, I know many of us cellphone-toting losers take it for granted, but if you think about it, your cellphone address book is one of the most important functions on your phone. And really, an address book is one of the most important collections of information you can own, on par with your social security number and wife’s birthday (OK, OK, your wife’s birthday is WAY more important, because if you forget that you might as well just give up).
Here’s my argument: If you ever have some kind of emergency or crisis in your life, the numbers in your cellphone become very important in getting that resolved, or at least spreading the information. Further, numbers for road conditions or airline arrival times often become incredibly useful since they are never, ever accessible when you need them (like while driving, or while at the airport).
So my point is that a cellphone address book is very important.
Anyway, back to my boring story about transferring my contacts list from my Razr to my smartphone. Turns out both of these devices have Bluetooth, and since I don’t use a Bluetooth headset (Dork Flag) the only other use for this technology that I can think of is transferring contacts from one phone to another. I tried using Bluetooth to move my address book from my Razr to my smartphone, but no luck. Apparently names and numbers are too complicated for Bluetooth, or something. Anyway, it didn’t work. So there you go.
So I was left with only one option: Visit my carrier’s store and have them do it. Thankfully (and, frankly, amazingly) they were able to do it.
But I still wasn’t done. Since my new smartphone was able to handle e-mail, I realized I would need to move my e-mail address book onto my smartphone (I didn’t need to worry about e-mails with my Razr because, well, my Razr was pretty stupid compared with my new smartphone).
(I will now use this sentence to make a point about e-mail address books: They are important, but not really as important as cellphone address books. OK, now back to the story.)
I switched on my Internet-based e-mail program, which is a popular one that many of my friends use, and began poking around to figure out how to move all my saved e-mail addresses onto my phone without having to do it manually (yes, I am lazy). I discovered an “export” button on my e-mail program, which allows an e-mail user to put all of their contacts into a computerized spreadsheet with a “.csv” file extension.
Now, if you’ve ever used Microsoft’s Excel, or had to deal with .csv files, you’ll feel an immense swell of pity for me. Because after exporting my e-mail contacts, I was forced to delve into the nether-regions of .csv hell.
To make a long, boring and tedious story short (kind of), I eventually managed to upload my .csv file into my smartphone, thereby populating my cellphone address book with both phone numbers and e-mail addresses. You may now commence your cheering and congratulations.
So why did I waste all this time writing this big long story? (The real question is: Why did you waste all this time reading it? But I guess that’s a different issue altogether.) The reason I wrote all this down is because I simply can’t believe that the cellphone and Internet industries have made this process so difficult.
I mean, if I were a cellphone manufacturer, I would make it a point to connect my product to pieces of information that my customers value. (Remember that whole paragraph I wrote about the importance of an address book? Now you know why I wrote it.) I mean, a cellphone is just an oversized dialing wand if you don’t input important phone numbers into it.
And if you’re like me, you can barely remember you wife’s birthday, much less a bunch of phone numbers, which is why a cellphone address book is so important.
And finally, before you send me angry e-mails on this topic: I know there are products out there that move contacts from one phone to another. And I know that it’s possible to move contacts around using Bluetooth. My point is that this is such a basic function it should be stupid obvious how to do it (meaning, I should never, ever have to delve into .csv agony).
OK! Enough of that.
Thanks for checking out this Worst of the Week column. And now, some extras:
–My favorite company in the world, Hop-on Inc., announced a $10 disposable cellphone. The company’s latest press release announced “the successful debut of their HOP1800 disposable cell phone at last weeks [sic] 90th PGA Championship game.” If it wasn’t for awesome companies like Hop-on, I don’t know how I could go on.
–Longtime, faithful WOTW reader Mike D wrote me an e-mail about rumors that there are cracks in the casing of the iPhone 3G (of which he is an owner). Mike D writes: “Many theories on the cracking issue have been stated. Some think the battery gets too hot; thus, causing an expanding and relaxing of the plastic. Others believe it may be a layering issue.The first reports of this issue were with the white 16gb phone, but many others have chimed in since. It is believed that the white shows first because oils and dirt are easily seen seeping into the cracks; whereas the black phones require a much closer look.” I include Mike D’s comments in this week’s WOTW in order to invite commentary and clarification on the issue, and because I’m pretty sure Mike D is the only longtime, faithful WOTW reader in the world (not necessarily a compliment).
I welcome your comments. Please send me an e-mail at mdano@crain.com. Or, if you prefer, leave a comment in the space below.