Worst of the Week: The Google Android hammer

Hello!
And welcome to our Thursday column, Worst of the Week. There’s a lot of nutty stuff that goes on in this industry, so this column is a chance for us at RCRWireless.com to rant and rave about whatever rubs us the wrong way. We hope you enjoy it!
And without further ado:
So the world’s first Google phone is supposed to be released next week by T-Mobile USA during an event in New York. I for one am very excited about this news, because if there’s one thing I know, it’s that we need more mobile-phone operating systems in the wireless industry.
Yes sir, it’s not enough to have Symbian and Windows Mobile. Throwing in BlackBerry OS, iPhone OS, Palm OS and LiMo’s Linux doesn’t satisfy my need. No sir, I need more, darn it!
Thankfully, Google is here to scratch my itch. And if Google’s new Chrome Internet browser (released last week) is any indication, the Google Android cellphone operating system will be a stripped-down effort, with virtually nothing new or exciting, that is clearly intended as a placeholder for more advanced services and functions that may or may not be released at some point in the future.
But I’m still very excited. Mainly because if a Web site can launch a mobile-phone operating system, then it’s obviously not that hard and I should probably give it a shot too.
But what’s the point, you ask? Well, if there is a point, it’s this list of features I expect to see in the new Google Android phone from T-Mobile USA, built by that loveable suck-up HTC:
1. A built-in Google search box. Wouldn’t it be great if a Google phone had quick access to a Google search box? That would be so cool. That’s what I like to call “synergy.”
2. A built-in, iPhone-smashing hammer. This would come in handy when, as a Google-phone-user, you were to run across someone with an iPhone. Then you could whip out your phone/hammer and smash that iPhone to bits, screaming, “Bet your phone doesn’t do this!”
3. An Internet browser. Many of the keynote presentations during last week’s CTIA I.T. show in San Francisco outlined the amazing convergence of wireless and the Internet. It seems this area is going to be big. (Please note: I am attempting to use sarcasm and irony here, since the convergence of wireless and the Internet is both well documented and well on its way. Many of the keynote presenters last week appeared to have just arrived from the year 2003.)
4. Google’s brand stamped on the phone. According to today’s Wall Street Journal, the phone will prominently feature’s Google’s logo, presumably alongside the logo of the carrier (T-Mobile) and manufacturer (HTC). I think this is a great trend in wireless, and hopefully it will lead to colorful, logo-covered mobile phones that resemble NASCAR racecars.
5. A mechanism to easily import contact information from multiple sources, such as a previous phone’s address book or a Web-based e-mail program; a complete users’ manual stored inside the phone; a list of commonly asked questions for users; diagrams of the phone and clear descriptions of what each button does; simple methods for tracking usage and alerts for impending overages; and clearly written explanations of all the services available for the phone, and – more importantly – what exactly those services cost.
Obviously, No. 5 is not important at all and No. 2 is very important. The rest is just filler.
OK! Enough of that.
Thanks for checking out this Worst of the Week column. And now, some extras:
–There’s only one extra but it’s a good one, so listen carefully: There’s a huge dust-up currently sweeping the industry over allegations of antitrust activity regarding the increasing cost of text messaging. Now, I’m not one to toot my own horn (insert joke here) but I brought up this exact issue in MAY OF 2007. Read it for yourself: “Worst of the Week: Conspiracy Theories.” That’s right, I’m awesome.
I welcome your comments. Please send me an e-mail at mdano@crain.com. Or, if you prefer, leave a comment in the space below.