Worst of the Week: Latent rage

Hello! And welcome to our Friday column, Worst of the Week. There’s a lot of nutty stuff that goes on in this industry, so this column is a chance for us at RCRWireless.com to rant and rave about whatever rubs us the wrong way. We hope you enjoy it!
And without further ado:
A bit of traveling over the past several weeks has provided me the opportunity for some quality time with mobile data services. (This “time” has been in the form of a PC card that I have had plugged into my laptop to access the Internet and should not be construed as anything more than that.)
During that time, I have been amazed again and again at the possibilities of wireless data services. Being able to connect anywhere to critical information is highly addicting. (And by critical information I am of course speaking about being able to watch random “Star Wars” clips on YouTube. Critical I say.) Wireless data services also have allowed me to laugh at the ridiculous fees hotels charge for broadband access, and even helped me get a constant connection in high-traffic trade show environments that have left free Wi-Fi services crippled by a large number of users and the jostling for clean spectrum.
Overall, my mobile broadband life has been good. Well done wireless industry.
But, and you knew that was coming, one thing I have noticed about current 3G mobile data services is a little issue techno-nerds call latency. Latency in this case is the term for the time difference between when you click a button and the time for that click to result in action. For 3G data services, current latency times range from 100 to 300 milliseconds.
I am pretty certain that 99.999% of the time I would not be able to even grasp the concept of 100 milliseconds. Heck, I doubt if even one real second typically registers in my brain unless I am hopped up on goofballs and Red Bull. But, when it comes to the Internet, my brain has been tuned to expect an immediate response. I hit a button, and I get a reaction. Even if that reaction is not the one I was hoping for, I expect something to happen when I do something that is supposed to cause a reaction.
And this is what pains me about current 3G networks. It seems every time I hit a button while using a mobile broadband connection, a millennia transpires before that action results in a reaction. Literally, a millennia. (Or is that figuratively?) Here’s an example of my frustration in case my previous explanation has not yet sunk in:
Me: Click the mouse.
Me: Waiting.
Me: Still waiting, but now thinking maybe I didn’t click the mouse.
Me: Still waiting, and thinking I should click the mouse again to let it know I am serious.
Me: Click the mouse again.
Me: Waiting.
Me: Still waiting, and starting to think that either my mouse-clicking finger is exceedingly weak or that it’s so strong that I broke the Internet.
Internet: Finally recognizes my first click.
Me: Snap back to reality and am happy that there is a reaction to my action. I start to do some other random Internet task, relieved that I didn’t break the Internet.
Internet: Recognizes my second click, negating my random Internet task and taking me to an advertising-linked page.
Me: Angry. Now wanting to break the Internet. Plotting begins.
If you think that was painful to read, imagine having it happen to you, repeatedly. It make Hulk angry! HULK SMASH!!!!
Luckily Hulk … I mean me … has barely enough strength to crumple paper and little damage is done.
But, back to the problem.
This may be an issue that only impacts me; I have always felt I suffered from latency-sensitivity disease. This condition is most apparent when I am speaking on a cellphone and that split-second of time between when a word is spoken by one and heard by the other is typically enough to set off my LSD and I begin speaking over the other person. It’s quite funny, or maddening, depending on your pain threshold. I have found that this condition never rears its head when I am speaking on a landline or in person with someone, but mobile is my life and I am forced to suffer.
Despite this frustration, I am still a mobile Internet service fan. Sure, current prices and data caps are out of whack with the real world, but that’s a matter that 4G is supposed to correct, right? I mean all that talk of flat-IP networks and blazing network speeds will mean nothing if I have to wait 100 milliseconds for any action.
OK, enough of that.
Thanks for checking out this week’s Worst of the Week column. And now for some extras:
–The triumverate of Nokia, AT&T Mobility and Best Buy this week announced customers would soon be able to purchase Nokia’s Booklet 3G netbook at Best Buy for $300 if they are willing to sign a two-year contract for AT&T Mobility’s mobile broadband service. Without said contract, the device runs $800. Seems like a cool plan. Customers get an awesomely small personal computer that can access the Internet from nearly everywhere for $500 off its regular price. Unless of course those customers reside in that little place called Reality (pop.: Not anyone involved in this bright idea).
Isn’t the whole purpose of this netbook craze based on a low-priced, low-feature device designed as a second or third computer? A quick check of nearly any electronics store finds netbooks for sale beginning at less than $300, and at the most topping at around the $500 mark. And this is an unsubsidized price that does not require a $40 per month data plan, or nearly $1,000 over the length of a two-year contract. I know this offer from Nokia/AT&T/Best Buy is not the first of its kind as a number of operators have jumped on the netbook/data package craze, but this one just seems the most ludicrious, and thus I hope it’s a wild success.
–Wal-Mart’s plans for world domination took another step forward this week as the mega-retailer and destroyer of small retailers everywhere said it would roll out TracFone Wireless’ Straight Talk calling service to more than 3,200 retail outlets nationwide beginning Oct. 18. News of this sent the stock price of every wireless carrier specializing in prepaid services down more than 3,000,000%. I am not sure if I am supposed to laugh or cry at the fact that such ginormous brands like ESPN and Disney were not able to make it in the mobile space, but our soon-to-be overlords out of Arkansas are on the verge of bringing a world of pain to the market. Maybe I will do a little of both.
I welcome your comments. Please send me an e-mail at dmeyer@ardenmediaco.com.