Worst of the Week: Let’s play the Feud

Hello! And welcome to our Friday column, Worst of the Week. There’s a lot of nutty stuff that goes on in this industry, so this column is a chance for us at RCRWireless.com to rant and rave about whatever rubs us the wrong way. We hope you enjoy it!
And without further ado:
This may seem an odd statement from a person who “won” his first, last and only fight because he was able to outrun his opponent, but I enjoy watching an oddly matched pair of antagonists going at it. Whether it’s a baby fighting a cat or a man getting roundhouse kicked by a bear, it’s even better if these contests take place in some sort of steel cage or geometric-shaped ring.
I would also like to add that while I am a fan of oddly matched pugilists, I am not a fan of unevenly matched opponents engaged in fisticuffs. (This may be due to the trauma I still suffer from in regards to my last attempt at fighting/running/screaming like a little girl, mentioned above. I mean I was bigger than that little girl, but she seemed to have an edge I did not want any piece of. Plus, I feel I won the moral decision as I still think I called the swing first.)
That is why I so love the oddly matched pissing match brewing between the nation’s largest wireless operators: Verizon Wireless and maker of all things deemed cool by those that are cool, Apple. I mean, if we were to lay out the measurements for these two, boxing style, it looks like a match made in odd-paired heaven.
“In the red corner, representing the Garden State of New Jersey – really? It’s called the Garden State? – weighing in with more than 87 million customers constantly stalked by its employees and a chip on its shoulder the size of James “Clubber” Lang … Verizon ‘Hey, You Looking at Me?’ Wireless!
And in the blue corner, decorated with an aluminum casing and an all-white background, representing every cooler-than-you person in the world and weighing in with an air of smugness rivaled only by Prius owners … ‘Don’t Pick the Apple’ Apple!”
While these two heavyweights at one time seemed to be biding time with their current “engagements” before joining forces (Verizon Wireless with CDMA and Apple with AT&T Mobility), the past several weeks have seen any sort of amorous intentions turn into awesome hostilities, mostly from the Verizon Wireless side. This has me eating popcorn faster than my microwave can pop it and foaming at the mouth like I am choking on un-popped popcorn kernels.
It all started with those awesome “There’s a map for that” ads from Verizon Wireless that lampooned Apple’s “We have an app for that” ads, hyping the 6 trillion applications available through its application store as well as AT&T Mobility’s 3G coverage map. That commercial is Tony Robbins good.
That bad boy was followed by the more recent, and slightly more disturbing, Verizon Wireless advertisement touting a soon-to-launch Android-powered device that Verizon Wireless says will make the iPhone look like something used to prevent a big bad wolf from blowing down your house.
Now, you have to hand it to Apple and to an extent AT&T Mobility, which have been passive-aggressive in this feud, letting the fact that it sold 7.4 million new iPhones during its most recent financial quarter and helped boost AT&T’s customer growth to a third-quarter record 2 million net additions.
Of course I am hoping the passiveness of this reaction is only temporary and that Apple and AT&T unleash the full brunt of their considerable marketing might, as in dollars and creativity, into combating the Verizon Wireless aggressiveness.
Or, better yet. They decide to meet in some sort of razor-wire ringed septagon and settle their differences like a baby and a cat would.
OK, enough of that.
Thanks for checking out this week’s Worst of the Week column. And now for some extras:
–Don’t get me wrong, I am all for handset manufacturers and wireless carries pushing to “green up” their operations wherever possible. Handset recycling campaigns and devices that are made with recycled or biodegradable components are a great step in the right direction and should be applauded. But, I also find it amusing that these companies are also spending billions of dollars each year marketing the next must-have device that came out only weeks after I just purchased the last must-have device and sending the inner-geek in me running to the store to buy the new phone. Now hopefully I am smart enough to either pass that old device on for someone else to use or recycle it properly, but regardless of how “green” the manufacturing or disposal of the new device and the old device respectively is being handled, there is still considerable waste being produced from both sides of this transaction. I know that this is not limited to the wireless industry and is the way the economy works, but I somehow can’t get that dynamic out of my head every time I look down at my rapidly out-of-date handset.
–Nice to see that Steve Largent, currently president, CEO and softball pitcher for industry trade association CTIA, still has some loyalties to his old profession. (For those not in the know, Mr. Largent used to play a bit of professional football.) However, I think the disparaging remark against the ability of a former bingo player to call plays for a currently inept NFL offense seems uncalled for, a thought echoed by others.
I welcome your comments. Please send me an e-mail at dmeyer@ardenmediaco.com.