Worst of the Week: The big letdown

Hello! And welcome to our Friday column, Worst of the Week. There’s a lot of nutty stuff that goes on in this industry, so this column is a chance for us at RCRWireless.com to rant and rave about whatever rubs us the wrong way. We hope you enjoy it!
And without further ado:
Some weeks we struggle here at RCR Wireless News to find a topic with enough meat on its bones to be worthy of a Worst of the Week column. And then there are those rare weeks where Apple unveils a new product. Those weeks are like a buffet of road kill.
Lucky for us this week was one of those rare weeks where the creative, high-tech masterminds out of Cupertino, Calif., emerged from their dungeon labs and presented the world with a product so revolutionary that it changes the very essence of how we live. (I did some growing up in Cupertino and find that last sentence almost incomprehensible.)
Now, I have gone on record expecting that whatever Apple was to unveil was going to change how I put on my pants in the morning. I was sure that no matter how illogical my first reaction to the device may be, that I would quickly come around to the fact that my senses are wrong and Steve Jobs knows what I need better than I do.
But, here we are more than 48 hours after the iPad (Seriously!?! iPad?!?) was introduced and instead of anxiously counting down the days/hours/minutes/seconds to its launch, I still can’t figure out what the hell Apple introduced. I keep thinking it was some sort of early April Fool’s Day joke that only I didn’t get. (For those that can’t wait the 58 days and counting until the iPad is unleashed on the world, may I recommend a substitute.)
It would appear that Apple finally unveiled the Consumer Electronics Device To End All Electronic Consumer Devices (CEDTEAECD) and somehow I feel empty. What is wrong with me? (Don’t answer that.) I should be feeling a rush of euphoria at this chance at a re-birth, yet for some reason I feel like I woke up on what I thought was a Saturday morning only to realize it’s really Monday. And it’s snowing.
Looking for guidance, I spent the past days scouring every news story I could find that offered a viewpoint or review of the iPad (Am I the only one who giggles whenever they say that?). That research showed that a) there are a lot of opinions on the iPad, and b)few people were either in love with the device or hated the device, and that instead most people were somewhere in the middle.
On one hand people are cooing over some of the iPad’s unique functionality, while in the other saying it did not go far enough. Many likened the device to a giant iPod Touch that has gained no additional functionality, but is now too big to take anywhere. Others said the screen was so magnificent that it made their eyes want to bypass their tear ducts and want to cry themselves. And still others chuckled that for a device meant to be a long board for Web surfing, the apparent lack of support for Adobe’s Flash is hilarious.
(Also, the iPad’s entry-level price point of $499 was shocking both in its lowness as well as the fact that Jobs in late 2008 mentioned: “There are some customers which we chose not to serve. We don’t know how to make a $500 computer that’s not a piece of junk, and our DNA will not let us ship that. But we can continue to deliver greater and greater value to those customers that we choose to serve. And there’s a lot of them.”)
And then there was the audible gasps heard throughout the wireless world when Apple announced that the iPad’s (hee, hee) 3G connectivity option would be through AT&T Mobility. I know continuing the partnership with AT&T Mobility makes sense on a number of levels for Apple, but why would AT&T Mobility be willing to take on another data-swilling device that caters to overly sensitive users that will light up the InterWeb with howling criticisms of AT&T Mobility’s network the first time a Youtube clip has to buffer? If you answered “money,” you are probably right.
(Despite the impending network doom this partnership could incur, both parties should be applauded for the no-contract, $30 per month for unlimited data usage plan unveiled with the device. It may trigger severe rage in those customers tied to a $60 per month, 2-year contract for 5 gigabytes of capped usage on their USB modems or netbooks, but what’s life without a little bit of rage targeting your wireless operator.)
Maybe the melancholy-ness is the ultimate problem with the iPad. In recent years whenever Apple released a new product the teaming masses have made beelines for their nearest Apple retail location with open check books (Do people still use checks? Do stores still take checks?) and great thirst looking to take a swig of the Kool-Aid Apple was serving. With the iPad, it seems that the tepid response is just not enough, and dare I say it, a downer.
This could all change of course over the next 58 days as the hype cycle for the iPad ramps up ahead of the device’s launch in April. And I am sure there will be the copious news coverage of people emerging from their basement fortresses to camp out in front of an Apple store in an attempt to get the “first” iPad. In fact, my lack of respect for the device is a good indication that the iPad is set to be a rip-roaring success and will in fact change the way I put my pants on in the morning.
OK, enough of that. Thanks for checking out this week’s Worst of the Week column. And now for some extras:
–If your traveling schedule has some open days on it may I suggest a view of the future: Robots! We are know it’s useless to resist their growing power and the sooner we start bowing down to their superior intelligence the better off we will all be.
–Sure, the iPad was announced more than 48 hours ago, but I am still amazed at how quickly accessory markers were on the case.
–In the leader house so far as best comic of the year may I present the ever reliable Doonesbury.
I welcome your comments. Please send me an e-mail at dmeyer@ardenmediaco.com.