@MWC: Worst of the Week: Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!

Hello! And welcome to our Friday column, Worst of the Week. There’s a lot of nutty stuff that goes on in this industry, so this column is a chance for us at RCRWireless.com to rant and rave about whatever rubs us the wrong way. We hope you enjoy it!
And without further ado:
BARCELONA – I am writing this week’s Worst of the Week column from the Mobile World Congress event in Barcelona, Spain, so I apologize up front if it reads sort of jet lagged and over tired as that is exactly how I feel. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for big, wireless trade shows. But every year MWC seems to flirt with the possibility that maybe there can be too much of a good thing.
What has always made this show such a great event is that it’s a place for the world’s wireless giants to strut their stuff. Whether it’s renting ocean liners or hollowing out volcanoes to host customer meetings, the big names in the space use this event to bolster their position as the Alpha Betas to the rest of the industry’s Tri-Lambs.
But, this year, that appears to have changed and now the Tri-Lambs seem to have gained control of the Greek Council and are now calling the shots. And those Tri-Lamb members are all the application developers that while still residing in their parent’s basements planning their next panty raid, are being feted by their one-time torturers as saviors of the wireless industry and set to move into the big house on campus.
Nearly every keynote or meeting I attended included at least one reference to the burgeoning mobile application market with even a few execs actually uttering the word “ifart” during their speeches in recognition of the audible application that it would appear has generated more revenue in the past year than any current wireless operator.
And while this comic-book-world-turned-reality sounds like a dream come true I would like to contend that the opposite is the case. That is, that this sudden sense of power flowing from those that have become accustomed to wielding it to those with no experience in such power wielding will bring about a cataclysmic outcome.
And I say this not just in an attempt to keep nerds in their place under the jocks in the traditional hierarchy, but because the thing that makes nerds so good at what they do is that they are nerds and thus have the focus and time to develop all of the coolest things in the world.
Just think about it. All of the awesome inventions in the history of the world were created by people that were so intent on inventing awesome things that they never worried about going outside, or meeting a mate or even showering (though those last two may somehow be connected).
–The Flux Capacitor, invented by Doc Brown and the reason we all grew up believing in time travel. I still believe the Flux Capacitor will be the central piece of equipment for the teleportation device I long for and hope is available before I have to fly back home from this show.
–The spork, invented by Samuel W. Francis. While I know nothing about this man, it’s obvious by what he invented that he never left his house, and for the matter may have never left the kitchen. And every kid that has eaten a school lunch in America should be happy for that dedication.
–Anything from Apple, which while it might not have been directly invented by Steve Jobs, at least received his seal of approval and in the nerd ranks I hear that is worth more than galactic credits.
That is just a sample of three items that if not invented would have left our current existence a colder and lonelier place. And all three were invented by certifiable nerds who had way too much time on their hands because they were not busy trying to pass bylaws discriminating against the jocks.
So, heap all that praise onto the world’s application developers at your own risk. Because if they really start to believe they are the true power mongers we could be in for a lot more panty raiding parties. And no one wants that.
OK, enough of that.
Thanks for checking out this week’s Worst of the Week column. And now for some extras:
–I know this may be an American-centric view of something, but why in the hell are there different standards for electrical outlet plugs? The wireless industry should use the might it showed with its current standardized handset charger initiative and get the countries of the world to choose one configuration for all electrical outlets. This view may be enhanced by the fact that I forgot to bring an appropriate adapter, but still, does the world really need different outlets?
–While attending an off-site WiMAX event at the MWC event this year I noticed the HSPA-enabled PC card I was having such good luck using in nearly every area of Barcelona suddenly could not find a signal. Sure, it could have been because we were like 50 stories up in a hotel conference room lined with lead and kryptonite, but I prefer to think that those sneaky bastards in the WiMAX community had found a way to block all non-WiMAX signals from their event in a guerilla tactic to show that while they may be small, they are determined to wreak havoc.
–At the same hotel that was amazingly HSPA-free I also noticed as I tried to log onto its in-house Wi-Fi network that they were charging 50 Euros for one day of Wi-Fi service … excluding tax. I don’t have the exact currency conversion in front of me on that, but I believe that is something close to $2,000 … excluding tax … for 24 hours of Wi-Fi access. If even a handful of people actually choose to fork over that much money for Internet access carriers should feel free to go hog wild and jack up the price of mobile broadband service. May I suggest something like $500,000 per month for mobile broadband with a 10 GB cap – they are paying $500,000, so I figured the carriers could bump up the current cap – and that price is of course … excluding tax.
I welcome your comments. Please send me an e-mail at [email protected].