Worst of the Week: Cold spots, hot anger

Hello! And welcome to our Friday column, Worst of the Week. There’s a lot of nutty stuff that goes on in this industry, so this column is a chance for us at RCRWireless.com to rant and rave about whatever rubs us the wrong way. We hope you enjoy it!
And without further ado:
I am a big proponent of effort. I mean my entire childhood athletic career was built on the positive reinforcement I received from those telling me that despite the results, I always put in a good effort. (And, if during my childhood the now popular “participation” ribbons were a standard, I would have a wall full of such positive reinforcement.)
Thus my rant this week I make with a slight nod towards at least the attempt at effort being made by those entities that look to make public places more hospitable through the deployment of wireless Internet access using Wi-Fi technology. In theory these are noble efforts and allow establishments to put out cool signs touting the available of “Free Wi-Fi” in an attempt to attract those consumers that cannot enjoy a $9 coffee without that coffee being constantly warmed by radio frequency waves.
I know not too many years ago these sort of deployments were the “next big thing” with companies throwing millions of dollars into “nationwide” rollout plans that were going to rival the best traditional cellular carriers could offer. And to this day a number of companies still work in this space providing at least the sense that public Wi-Fi is a legitimate business case offering a service consumers are happy to have.
But, despite these efforts, recent travel has shown to me that these attempts at spreading wireless Internet access to the masses is at best a waste of time and at worst a maddening exercise in technology frustration that threatens the lifespan of devices that can’t handle being thrown against a wall.
I am guessing that at some point in time every Wi-Fi hotspot worked to some extent, and my guess is that that time was the first 30 seconds after the router was fired up, and remained working for just long enough to trick whoever was installing the system into thinking all was good.
As for my attempts to ever connect to a public Wi-Fi hotspot, I can only say that my success rate is in the single-digit percent, and when I have been able to connect it was typically a herky-jerky proposition that took me back to those wonderful dial-up connection days of the mid-1990s. Ah, progress.
I will admit that I for the most part have avoided any of the pay-to-use Wi-Fi hotspots based on early use of such services that typically had me as frustrated. And with no one around to provide any support or a rebate was reduced to trying to yank my money back out through my computer screen. Luckily I lacked the strength to do much damage.
And I know that the business models for most free Wi-Fi connections are somehow based on attracting customers into an establishment or in providing some low-level of customer service so robust backhaul is not necessarily a high priority. However, to on one hand spend the dough required to deploy a Wi-Fi network, but not back it up with anything more than a piece of string between two tine cans that would allow more than one person looking to engage in a bit of instant messaging enough capacity to do so seems like a waste of time.
“A” for effort. “F” for execution.
Out of this failure though I see opportunity for cellular carriers. I propose that carriers begin targeting these public Wi-Fi locations with hourly wireless modem rentals using kiosks or some other micro location. Imagine it. Some poor sap is trying to log onto a public Wi-Fi network to the usual limited or no success. Eyes bulging. Hair being ripped out of their head. Shortness of breath. Hands gripped around their laptop, ready to challenge a Guinness Record for both the length of a throw as well as velocity.
And in steps a well-dressed person offering to calm that person’s nerves and restore their connectivity sanity at the low-low price of $5 per hour; modem rental included. Brilliant, no?
Who in their right mind wouldn’t trade in that level of blood pressure-bursting aggravation of trying to link up to a public Wi-Fi connection for such a nominal fund? Heck, that’s less than half the price of that cup of coffee.
And the first carrier to take this model and run would definitely be in the running for a “Thanks For Showing Up” ribbon.
OK, enough of that.
Thanks for checking out this week’s Worst of the Week column. And now for some extras:
–My recent travels have also reinforced my continued amazement in navigation services built into mobile devices. I can’t tell you the amount of time and frustration I have been saved using these systems to find the nearest Krispy Kreme or Dunkin Donuts or Lamar’s Donuts. (This is obviously a sad commentary on my dietary habits, but damn if I can’t pass up a good donut.) But, that reliance has also provided for some erratic driving behavior as the occasional lack of data coverage needed to power such services has suddenly revealed itself at critical times. Nothing like having a computerized voice – typically with a British accent – suddenly go silent at the moment I am approaching the convergence of every highway/freeway/byway and the only exit within one hundred miles that will get me to my destination is embedded in the middle of it. That sort of excitement is usually reserved when I lay down the big $5 bets on the big wheel in Vegas.
–Could NextWave have had it right all along? Many years and billions of dollars after the (in)famous PCS spectrum bidder/bankruptcy filler/general FCC headache shed most of its spectrum holdings and original plans(?) to launch a network designed to sell service wholesale to carriers, that model is becoming the talk of the industry. Just about every carrier now has a significant wholesale business selling access on their networks to “rivals,” while a few like Clearwire have gone even further by basically banking their future on such arrangements. And, recent conversations I have had with a number of analysts indicate that the financial success of “4G” will be based on wholesale models. It might not be a popular sentiment, but maybe some acclaim should be reserved for those folks at NextWave.
I welcome your comments. Please send me an e-mail at dmeyer@ardenmediaco.com.