Worst of the Week: Would you like cheese with that whine?

Hello! And welcome to our Friday column, Worst of the Week. There’s a lot of nutty stuff that goes on in this industry, so this column is a chance for us at RCRWireless.com to rant and rave about whatever rubs us the wrong way. We hope you enjoy it!
And without further ado:
Regular readers of this column may have the impression that I am a bit of a whiner. Someone that is always quick to point out problems, but most often short of an actual solution.
Reading through past columns, that is a hard argument to counter. But, in my defense, all I can say is that I am just fulfilling the mission of this column, which is to point out things we find wrong in the wireless industry and not necessarily deliver a solution. And the times that we do provide a “solution,” well we will just call that an added bonus to you the reader and to the industry as a whole. (Please e-mail me for an address to send all royalty checks.)
As such, I found myself more confused than normal this week with all the news surrounding “issues” plaguing the latest iPhone. Sure, I will admit that I took some delight in claims that the most holiest of mobile devices was not the perfect reflection of modern design and technology its makers claimed, and thought these issues would surely fit in perfectly with the din of a WOTW column. But, for some reason I could not find the enthusiasm to jump on the iPhone-bashing bandwagon.
Unlike some of my colleagues that will go unnamed – cough, cough, Matt Kapko, cough, cough – that just had to stand in line for 10 hours in order to get their grubby little paws on the iPhone 4 on its launch day, I have stayed out of the fray that has accompanied any of the iPhone launches. And, for the one year I did in fact purchase an iPhone for a review, which was for the initial launch back in 2007, I was able to stroll into a local Apple store around 8 pm on launch day and pick up a device in about 5 minutes.
Despite my ability to resist the temptation of the iPhone, I do recognize the significance of the device and how it has impacted the wireless industry both for good and evil. (Insert evil laugh here.)
Thus, reading this week how some of those that just could not seem to go on with life without having the latest iPhone ASAP were now complaining that perhaps the device was not as perfect as they would have liked it to be. Complaints of scratched or broken screens, vacillating cellular signal quality or the device’s inability to allow its owner to walk on water have sprung up faster than 1.7 million iPhone 4s flying out the door of retailers in 3 days. (Not sure how fast that is, but let’s just say it’s pretty fast.)
Law firms, which are never ones to let any alleged complaint in the wireless industry go to waste, have been quick to pick up on the distress being caused to fragile iPhone owners. For instance, I received word that the Carp Law Offices have initiated a class-action lawsuit against Apple and AT&T claiming Apple installed a defective antenna in the device and that Apple and AT&T are not willing to fix the problem or wave restocking fees and void termination fees for consumers. (That last claim is the funniest as I doubt that someone that stood in line on launch day for an iPhone would really want to leave AT&T or the iPhone for something else.)
Apple did not do much to quell this drama when word got out that the one-and-only Steve Jobs responded to an e-mail complaint about the reception issue by telling the person they were holding the device the wrong way. It was not like they were holding the device between their toes or while using steel-mesh gloves, they were simply holding it tightly in their left hand, something I think most right-handed people would do. (Event better is the claim that by buying a $30 phone cover will resolve the issue, hinting that just maybe Apple might have known about the antenna issue before launching the device.)
Apple’s response was all the more vexing as people have come to expect Apple to be the company that tucks them into bed at night, gives them a kiss on the forehead and tells them that there are no monsters living under their beds or in their closets.
The law firm includes a hilarious claim that the restocking fee is an “insult to consumers who purchased the phone based on Apple’s immense marketing scheme,” a claim that should lead to further questions about those “consumers” gullibility in both the electronic equipment they buy and the law firm they may choose to do business with.
I am not suggesting that there is not some physical defect in the new iPhone or that Apple should not be held responsible for fixing an issue. But, to claim that people are being harmed by any of these issues and thus in need of financial compensation is just plain stupid.
Apple seemed to be attempting to quell the ruckus earlier today when it released a press release claiming the device is not really defecting, but that in fact the signal strength “bars” at the top of the phone’s screen are inaccurately portraying actual signal strength. While the phone may be showing four bars of strength, it should actually only be showing two bars. Or as Apple puts it:
“Users observing a drop of several bars when they grip their iPhone in a certain way are most likely in an area with very weak signal strength, but they don’t know it because we are erroneously displaying 4 or 5 bars,” the company said in a statement. “Their big drop in bars is because their high bars were never real in the first place.”
Now that Apple’s PR folks have joined in, I can only suspect this story will continue to gather steam and more than likely more law firms looking to protect the poor, helpless iPhone owners that have had their Apple-skewed view of life shattered with only financial compensation able to right the wrong. As for me, all I can hope is that I can remain on the sidelines trying to avoid the calamity with a nice bottle of Rioja and slice of havarti.
OK, enough of that.
Thanks for checking out this week’s Worst of the Week column. And now for some extras:
–I can only imagine that Microsoft would give an arm, a leg or even a Balmer to have the “problems” Apple seems to be having in the mobile space. The computer software giant this week pulled the plug on its ingeniously named Kin devices less than two months after they launched at Verizon Wireless. The company downplayed the move noting that it was looking to focus on the development and launch of its Windows Phone 7 operating system.
Sure the device(s) seemed to narrowly focused to reach their target market, those being people with nothing better to do than hit up their friends with incessant tweets, Facebook updates and in general being real pests. But, I would also think some of that blame has to be laid at the feet of Verizon Wireless, which saddled the devices with a mandatory $30 data fee on top of a nearly-mandatory $20 unlimited messaging bundle and of course at least $40 per month for a voice plan. Throw in some out-of-control taxes on mobile services at you are looking at more than $100 per month for a not-quite-a-smartphone. In addition, Verizon Wireless was already offering a number of real smartphones that did all that Kin could do and more.
From reported sales numbers, it sounds like there will not be much of a public outcry over not being able to choose between the Kin I or Kin II the next time they are visiting their local Verizon Wireless retailer.
–Not that the end of the world is near or anything, but
this week I received an invite to attend t
he “Robotics Summit Virtual Conference and Exposition Series,” which seems to include nearly every word that strikes fear in my heart and head. I am sure there is some good that can come out of whatever the hell this “series” is, but is anyone really comfortable with anything that combines robots, virtual anything or an exposition?
I welcome your comments. Please send me an e-mail at dmeyer@ardenmedia.com.