Worst of the Week: Shock and aqua

Hello! And welcome to our Friday column, Worst of the Week. There’s a lot of nutty stuff that goes on in this industry, so this column is a chance for us at RCRWireless.com to rant and rave about whatever rubs us the wrong way. We hope you enjoy it!
And without further ado:
For the most part, and contrary to what many of my acquaintances who have seen my tin-foil hat collection may say, I like to think that the government has done a pretty good job of looking out for the masses.
As an example I always like to point out that you can go to just about anywhere in the U.S. and take a swig from a garden hose with little fear that you will spend the next 13 hours in either a restroom or hospital. But, take a trip to most foreign countries and it seems that the thought of potable water is a foreign as deodorant. Chalk one up for the home team.
But, the latest foray by the Federal Communications Commission into trying to cure all that ails mobile customers looks to have just enough potential to make me a sad panda.
The FCC’s latest inquest is into the so-called “bill shock” syndrome wireless customers apparently suffer from when they open their wireless bills and are “shocked” (shocked! I say!) at the amount they are asked to pay.
(How can anyone really be shocked by anything these days let alone by a bill? I would have thought that we were at a point in time where we would not be shocked to see Bigfoot chasing a leprechaun riding a unicorn down a licorice rainbow. My guess is that these same people that claim they suffer from bill shock are also the same that tune into “Keeping up with the Kardashians” and are shocked by all the drama that unfolds. Shocked! I say!)
The FCC’s justification for this inquest is that a recent survey of 3,000 mobile customers found that 13% said they have experienced unexpected increases in their wireless bills from month-to-month, including changes of as little as $1. (It should be pointed out that while 13% is a rather small number, it does represent some 30 million consumers.) The FCC also noted that one-third of those shocked individuals, or around 4% of those surveyed, saw increases of more than $50 in their monthly bill.
There did not seem to be any indication of where this increase came from, with wireless industry trade association CTIA asking rather smartly if those shock-inducing increases could have come from an increase in usage by consumers. (Wait, I should be forced to pay more if I use more? Where are we? Communist Japan?)
Consumer groups have jumped on the findings noting that carriers need to be more proactive in alerting consumers when they are using services that may force them over the regular allotment of service included in their bucket of services. Seems fair enough, though I am pretty sure most carriers already do that and bet that most people are not interested in receiving any more information on anything at this point.
In addition, CTIA noted that a current telemarketing rule limits some forms of contact a carrier can have with their customers, especially in terms of text messages that can be sent. (All good stuff and further proof that when it comes to our government the right hand rarely has any idea what the left hand is up to.)
I am guessing that typically, and I do mean typically, consumers are made aware of extra charges when they are purchasing a device and signing up for service, or at least can check into any possible extra charges with a bit of research. But, a consumer either lining up in a retail store or getting ready to click a “purchase” button on their computer is also at a time in their life when they are more than likely overwhelmed with emotions connected to having a new “toy” to play with. And, as I am sure all of us who literally were buzzing with anticipation on Christmas morning can attest to, whenever there is something new to play with our ability to retain any sort of outside information is greatly reduced.
All of this leaves me with great doubts that the FCC can really do anything in this situation that will not a) make it worse; 2) require millions of tax dollars to implement; or III) cause Bigfoot to start chasing a leprechaun riding a unicorn down a licorice rainbow.
I mean, how can any sort of regulation or change in business practices stop some people from being shocked about anything? Sure, 30 million people saying they were shocked when they opened their cellphone bill is something that should garner some attention, but with some of these people being shocked by an increase in their bill of less than $1, I am guessing there is nothing that can be done to quell their jitters.
Well, I guess the government could begin adding a little something-something to the water to take the edge off, but that would just wreck my awesome analogy.
OK, enough of that.
Thanks for checking out this week’s Worst of the Week column. And now for some extras:
–Just one extra item for this week, but it’s a good one and something we should all think about: Well said.
I welcome your comments. Please send me an e-mail at dmeyer@ardenmedia.com.