Worst of the Week: Potty talk

Worst of the Week: Potty talk
Hello! And welcome to our Friday column, Worst of the Week. There’s a lot of nutty stuff that goes on in this industry, so this column is a chance for us at RCRWireless.com to rant and rave about whatever rubs us the wrong way. We hope you enjoy it!
And without further ado:
The fine folks over at Samsung Mobile this week released the results of a survey it contracted that the company said was intended to look into how smart phones are changing how and where people work. Obviously this was done to show how useful smart phones, and in particular Samsung smart phones, have become to the masses. (Spoiler Alert!: Smart phones are very useful.)
But after looking at the results of the survey I would say that while the intentions may have been pure (though predictable), the actual results of the survey – I hope – ended up grossing many of us out just a little bit and making us realize that maybe, just maybe, we are a bit too comfortable with our mobile devices.
The survey found that 16% of people “came clean about doing business over the phone” during a funeral, 32% while at church, 38% while on a date and 59% during the middle of the night. (I will leave the quoted verbiage alone at this point, though think of it as an appetizer of what is to come.)
The survey also found that 10% of people take phone calls while “in the throes of passion,” which I can only assume means when they are so passionate that they start throwing things, though for that I would have thought the number would have been much higher.
While all of those numbers are disturbing enough, for me it wasn’t enough to make me vomit in my own mouth or at least gouge my own eyes out. No, that was reserved for the survey result that showed that 72% of people were “comfortable” taking calls while in the “commode.” For those of you under the age of 60 the commode is an old-time word for the lavatory, restroom, bathroom, toilet, john, chamber pot, urinal, latrine, privy, water closet, powder room, washroom or the head. (I think this is a good stopping point to allow the other 28% of us to go ahead and brush our teeth or re-insert our previously gouged eyes.)
Seriously!?! Nearly three-fourths of the more than 500 people over the age of 18 surveyed said they were comfortable taking a phone call while in the commode? Don’t get me wrong, the powder room is a great place and all, and for some almost a shrine, but I believe they were made for only a few activities and taking a phone call is not one of them.
First of all the acoustics have got to be horrible. It’s tough enough in most instances to get a clear connection on a cellphone, but the thought of adding another layer of tile and porcelain to the mix seems like a bad idea. Also, not that I do a lot of talking while using the head, but it would seem that the echo-ness of a lavatory would somehow further degrade the audio quality of a mobile call, which are never that good to start with.
Also, most chamber pots that I am familiar with are littered with hard surfaces just waiting to crack open any and all electronic device. (Don’t ask how I know?) And, if for some reason a dropped device manages to miss being obliterated by a hard surface there are water receptacles just waiting to swallow a mobile device whole.
(True, but not a funny story. I once leant a neighbor a high-end smart phone to get his opinion of how it worked. A few days later he sheepishly brought it back and in the process of handing it to me explained that while in the john the device fell out of his pocket and into the commode. Again, this story was being told to me as he was exchanging the device from his hand to my hand. A lame excuse that he quickly retrieved it out of the – at that time – “un-used” toilet did little to quell my desire to quickly pull my hand away and let the device fall. Lesson learned and plenty of skin lost in the ensuing hand scrubbing.)
I am sure by now we have all been in a situation where we are using a public washroom and have had a fellow privy-er either come in yammering on their phone, pick up a call while using the facilities or worse, begin a call while in the water closet. Not sure about the 72% of you out there, but for the other 28% this is a serious social taboo.
Listen, restrooms are made for “resting” and not for teleconferencing. It’s bad enough for some of us to even have to use a public urinal, but to think that a vast majority of you out there are so comfortable in that surrounding that they are willing to whip out their device (easy there) and begin having a conversation in a place some would consider more of a sanctuary than a sanctuary is mind bottling. (That’s right. It bottles the mind.)
I am all for the idea of mobile devices helping humanity become more productive, but there has to be some limit to that. And for me that sort of multi-tasking needs to stop at any door that has the picture of a stick figure on the door.
Come on people. I know we are all better than that. Let’s be smart with our smart phone usage and keep the talk out of the potty.
OK, enough of that.
Thanks for checking out this week’s Worst of the Week column. And now for some extras:
–The Government Accounting Office released a report this week (it’s only 57 pages, give it a read) that came up with some interesting findings regarding the current state of the domestic mobile phone industry. The report noted that after years of industry consolidation the U.S. mobile market is dominated by four carriers (horror!); that this could lead to higher prices and less competition (shocking!); and that the price of wireless services has dropped by more than half over the past 10 years (wait … what?). Yes, that’s right. Less competition has lead to lower prices. Just like what I learned in that economics class I vaguely remember attending.
I welcome your comments. Please send me an e-mail at dmeyer@ardenmedia.com.