Hello! And welcome to our Friday column, Worst of the Week. There’s a lot of nutty stuff that goes on in this industry, so this column is a chance for us at RCRWireless.com to rant and rave about whatever rubs us the wrong way. We hope you enjoy it!
And without further ado:
I am not sure how it all got started or if someone actually invented it, but one of the oddest tendencies of us as humans is to at times pretend we are doing something when in fact we are doing nothing. My guess is that it’s some sort of guilt reaction that has been ingrained into our DNA ever since the caveman days when cave-boys and cave-girls had to look busy whenever their cave-moms where around so they wouldn’t have to clean the mammoth and saber-tooth tiger mess out of their rooms.
I bring this up because this week the Federal Communications Commission released a “further notice of proposed rulemaking” on how to address the role wireless networks and specialized services will play in the whole net neutrality brouhaha. The notice is a way for the FCC to solicit comments from basically anyone with the ability to communicate on how they think the FCC should deal with one of the most complex situations facing the telecom space today.
(I look at it sort of like asking someone with just enough intelligence to put on his shoes, preferably using Velcro straps, what’s the best way to move forward with the Middle East peace process. Someone … like myself. As for that peace process, I just don’t see why Iowa and Nebraska can’t just get along.)
I guess we have to give the FCC some credit for even trying to tackle this mind-twisting issue, and maybe some more credit in asking for outside advice on the matter. But, is it really constructive to open this process up to just anyone? Isn’t this a topic that the decision makers at the FCC are appointed to handle? And if those at the FCC feel they are not informed enough to handle this issue, why are they working at the FCC?
These sorts of questions, along with a few too many sips of Red Bull, has led me to the conclusion that the people at the FCC are really just pretending to be doing something. Sure, they do a lot of the same stuff most of us do in our office jobs each day: Check e-mails; chit-chat with co-workers; scour the office for donuts that someone might have brought in; do some personal web surfing; check some more e-mails; stare at the wall; go to lunch; check some more e-mails; some more personal web surfing; take an afternoon nap under the desk; some more chit-chatting; more staring at the wall; final scan of e-mails; out the door at 4:59:59 pm.
But, for people employed to shape the telecommunications future of this country – as well as placing hefty fines on those that look to corrupt our morals – they are really just making themselves look busy in case their cave-mom (cave-boss?) comes walking by.
Now, I have had the honor of actually visiting the FCC compound during a recent trip to Washington, D.C., and besides the dozens of security personnel who did not have much of a sense of humor for a lowlife reporter trying to get into the building with a bag full of electronic gear, I did not really see as much pizzazz as I thought would be appropriate for such a powerful organization.
I am not sure why, but I guess I was just expecting more dancing:
It’s really hard to blame those at the FCC for this (in)-action. Like the ever-changing winds of our national government, those officials in the FCC are really just “holding down the fort” over there in Washington, hoping the place does not burn down on their watch. I mean, it’s got to be hard to work on projects that you know are going to take years to put together, only to see them eviscerated by Congress or special interest groups and then before you even get a chance to piece your now returned Frankenstein of a creation back together you are shown the door as another administration comes in.
I doubt I would ever have considered cleaning my room as a kid if I knew my mom had someone else waiting in the wings to take my place, whether Cro-Magnon or not.
However, that’s the way the rules of the game for Washington, D.C., have been laid out. Sure, none of it makes any sense in the real world, but for anyone that has visited our nation’s capital I think you can agree that Washington, D.C., is about as far away from the real world as MTV’s “Real World” series is from the real world. (Hint: far.)
And with those rules in place, there is really no chance for anything to actually get accomplished. Especially on something as contentious as whether wireless networks, which are constrained by something I have no clue about – physics, should be lumped in with all other ways to accessing the Internet.
So, I say huzzah to the FCC for at least looking like you are doing something when it comes to wireless services and net neutrality. But I fear there are too many obstacles in place to allow this mess to be cleaned up.
OK, enough of that.
Thanks for checking out this week’s Worst of the Week column. And now for some extras:
–I was stunned this week to see the Sprint Nextel of the fast-food world, Burger King, was set to be purchased for $4 billion by what I thought was some new telecom player aptly named 3G Capital. (Just the thought of how much damage I could do at a Burger King with $4 billion dollars, or even $4, is both mouth watering and gut wrenching.)
After further investigation, which included reading more than just the headline, I soon realized that this 3G Capital organization had nothing to do with our beloved wireless telecom space and was instead just some faceless and soulless investment firm looking to take over a national institution. How dare they take a term that has been bludgeoned to death so severely by marketing teams in the wireless space for their evil means. My guess is they will change BK’s new tagline to: “All your burgers are belong to us.”
–Speaking of the Burger King of the wireless world, is Sprint Nextel really in any position to deny anyone looking to give it money even if it might help a competitor?
I welcome your comments. Please send me an e-mail at dmeyer@ardenmedia.com.
