Worst of the Week: Cat fight!

Hello! And welcome to our Friday column, Worst of the Week. There’s a lot of nutty stuff that goes on in this industry, so this column is a chance for us at RCRWireless.com to rant and rave about whatever rubs us the wrong way. We hope you enjoy it!
And without further ado:
For those of you that made it through Black Friday without being trampled and Cyber Monday without spraining your fingers or going blind, Verizon Wireless on Wednesday of this week announced the final pieces of its LTE launch plans including a date (pretty important) and pricing (even more important). For a quick recap the service will launch on Dec. 5 with data prices starting at $50 per month for 5 gigabytes of data transmission.
(I do find it interesting though that despite the higher speeds promised by the LTE network compared with the carrier’s CDMA-based 3G network that Verizon Wireless did not increase the “capped” bucket of data. It would seem that with the higher speeds customers will be blowing through their bucket much quicker, which could lead to some sticker shock when they are then pounded for the $10 per GB overage.)
While the news was all good for Verizon Wireless, it seemed to have brought the claws out of its catty competitors who wasted no time in sending along a list of reasons why their “4G” offerings were superior. This is nothing new of course, especially in the hyper-competitive mobile industry where operators are continuously looking for ways to one-up a rival.
But, this seemed to be different as Verizon Wireless is launching a revolutionary network offering. I think I have become immune to pretty much everything gee-whiz in the mobile space, but it’s pretty impressive that Verizon Wireless has managed to launch a network covering more than one-third of the country using a technology that was just a glimmer in the industry’s eye a couple of years ago. I know a couple other players got to market before Verizon Wireless with LTE, but nothing on this sort of scale and scope.
Instead of copying verbatim what those “comparisons” were, I thought I would instead peel away the spin and provide the real meat of what Verizon Wireless’ competitors were trying to say:
1. “While Verizon Wireless’ peak network speeds might be faster now, since we will have fewer customers using our service, our customers will actually have a faster user experience. See, we are better!”
2. “They are using a lightning bolt to describe how their network works. We all know that lightning bolts are elitists and are sourced from the gods. And not American gods, but Greek and Roman gods. Also, lightning causes fires and no one likes fires.”
3. Customers will know our network is better because we have a wholesome woman as our spokesperson and everyone likes wholesome women. Plus, for the most part, wholesome woman don’t cause fires*. (*Except when they do.)”
4. “It’s all about devices and that is something Verizon Wireless fails to understand. A single USB modem for their launch? Hah! Where’s the fun in that? It’s the holidays and people want something that reaches off the shelf, slaps them in the face and makes them want to play with it while they are driving. USB modems can’t do that. They just sit there with a flashing light doing nothing. This is the 21st Century people! People want to be slapped!”
5. “Verizon Wireless is lying to people by using the term ‘4G’ in marketing their service. We all know that LTE does not meet the ITU’s definition of what 4G really is. It’s not even close! Verizon Wireless knows that and is blatantly deceiving its customers. What a bunch of liars. Not like our technology, which we also call 4G. Wait … what? Our service is also is not a 4G technology? Nevermind.”
Of course, these attempted “translations” are open to interpretation, but I think the heart of the messages are clear and show how wireless carriers have no interest in sharing their milk with their rivals. Let’s hope for the sake of hilarity that this trend continues.
OK, enough of that.
Thanks for checking out this week’s Worst of the Week column. And now for some extras:
For this week’s extras we will dive into our blog at RCR Unplugged where some of my colleagues have posted insightful comments. First up is our Features Editor Matt Kapko:
–A first-to-market advantage for WiMAX over LTE was supposed to help differentiate Sprint Nextel Corp. and Clearwire Corp. from its competitors. But if you live in the metropolitan areas of Los Angeles or the San Francisco Bay Area, not so much.
Los Angeles and the surrounding area finally got its first official look at WiMAX earlier this week. San Francisco is still waiting.
Although the companies launched their first WiMAX market almost two years ago in Portland, Ore., scale is what matters most. A so-called fourth generation network without service in San Francisco or Los Angeles (until just this past Monday) is no network I want to pay for.
Sure, I’ve lived my entire life in California so I’m admittedly biased, but there are plenty of good business reasons to not ignore The Golden State and leave it behind or on the back burner.
When it’s all said and done, WiMAX will have launched in Los Angeles exactly six days before LTE. So much for a first-to-market advantage or really any head start at all.
Moreover, barring any unforeseen last-minute surprise from Sprint Nextel or Clearwire, Verizon Wireless will have completely beaten its WiMAX-backing counterparts to the 4G party with an LTE signal in San Francisco.
If you take each of these companies at their word, Verizon Wireless’ LTE network will cover 10 million more potential customers than Sprint Nextel as of this coming Sunday. In other words, Verizon Wireless will have leapfrogged Clearwire and Sprint Nextel’s early 4G status in one fell swoop.
The eight cities in California that rank in the top 50 U.S. cities based on population — Los Angeles, San Diego, San Jose, San Francisco, Fresno, Sacramento, Long Beach and Oakland — comprise almost 9 million people alone. Until last Monday, WiMAX was only live in one of those cities: Sacramento. Los Angeles is a huge step forward for Clearwire and Sprint Nextel but it’s unclear why the companies didn’t focus where the most people live first and fill in the rest later.
Verizon Wireless appears to be doing the opposite, at least in California. Six of those cities will have LTE service as of this Sunday. Guess which city isn’t on the list of Verizon Wireless’ initial launch markets — Sacramento. It’s OK, nothing really gets done there anyway.”
The next blog post is from our Executive Editor Tracy Ford:
–Remember your reaction that year when you first saw Verizon Wireless’ TV ad about the iPhone on the Island for Misfit Toys? I was pretty much stuck in “OMG” mode for a few minutes. Best mean-spirited funny commercial between wireless carriers ever.
While no one is coming close to that this year, but this year’s holiday ads are making me smirk a bit. T-Mobile USA’s 4G claims aimed at AT&T Mobility’s outdated network (their words, not mine) are kind of funny, and not just because they’re reminiscent of the Apple Inc. vs. Microsoft Corp. ads featuring cute Justin Long and wanna-be Bill Gates. (If you look closely, do you think the actress portraying T-Mobile USA have elf ears? I think so. Or maybe I’m just excited for Christmas.) Beyond that, Verizo
n Wireless’ sno-bot is cute. And while the verdict is still out on Windows 7,
Microsoft’s TV ad featuring the parents not paying attention to their children, husbands not paying attention to wives, etc., because they are stuck on the phone will ring a bit too true to already guilt-laden parents.
But AT&T Mobility is still talking coverage with those weird orange banners and Sprint Nextel is talking value (although I love the doctor telling the football player he is out for the season.) Isn’t there a holiday theme for that?
Where are the snarky comments? It’s the big holiday push, is it not? Time to poke fun at your competitors and highlight their weaknesses. There are two-year contracts at stake here, people!!
Please check back daily at RCR Unplugged for more posts from our editorial staff
I welcome your comments. Please send me an e-mail at dmeyer@ardenmedia.com.