CBOSS has always puzzled me. The firm has a prominent booth at every single major tech show, complete with a big stage and a bevy of Russian beauties who periodically do a little dance and pose for photographs with drooling nerds. All well and good, but what the heck does the firm actually do? Lord knows, we’ve asked, and have continued digging, even after getting unceremoniously turned down for an interview (possibly because I didn’t wear a revealing outfit and do a little dance first?)
The firm’s website gives little guidance, instead opting for the biggest load of marketing bull I’ve ever seen printed in one paragraph:
“CBOSS is an Internet technology company. We harness the power of the Web to deliver our customers software solutions and services to achieve their strategic business goals.”
Translation? “We are a company who has hired marketing monkeys to write unintelligible banality on our ‘About Us’ page.”
“Since 1994, CBOSS has been providing web-based software solutions and IT services for e-commerce, online payment processing, business process and workflow automation and managed hosting services to government and business customers. We have served hundreds of customers with design, development, implementation, operation and support of mission critical IT projects.”
Translation? “We move money and stuff around for governments and big business. And we like to keep it very vague.”
CBOSS is also apparently a “transnational corporation and one of the world leaders in the development of innovative convergent IT solutions for end-to-end automation of telecommunications companies, delivering a competitive edge to telecoms across the globe.” As if that wasn’t enough, it also “offers a full range of equipment, systems and application software, professional services, including consulting, turnkey implementation, technical support, staff training and IT outsourcing, providing telcos with guaranteed operations quality while minimizing operational and capital expenditures.”
Translation? (and only with the benefit of context after hours of digging): “We make the software that prints out phone bills.”
Actually, we’re not even sure the firm does that, but we’re so dazed by the dancing girls that we’ve forgotten the point.
