Hello! And welcome to our Friday column, Worst of the Week. There’s a lot of nutty stuff that goes on in this industry, so this column is a chance for us at RCRWireless.com to rant and rave about whatever rubs us the wrong way. We hope you enjoy it!
And without further ado:
Next week the wireless world will again shift its attention to a trade show as this time domestic wireless trade association CTIA throws its annual “spring” event. (This is not to be confused with its annual “fall” event that for the most part has been confused itself in what it’s supposed to be.)
The CTIA show follows on the heels of the Mobile World Congress event in Spain in February and the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas in January. Unlike those other events, CTIA likes to mix up the location of its show from time to time, this year holding the soiree in Orlando, Fla., home of just about anything a child would like to visit during Spring Break. And even better, this year’s CTIA show in Orlando is being held during Spring Break.
That works out well for those who like to pay a premium for airline tickets and hotel rooms. Well done CTIA! (Does look like CTIA is cutting back on the fun for next year as it’s moving the show to May. Bummer.)
And, while MWC has all the international flair of Barcelona, Spain, and CES has all the awesome flair that is Las Vegas, CTIA will have all the Wal-Mart-like flair of Orlando. Yay!
Now, you may be asking yourself: “Do we really need another trade show so soon after the others?” (And if you are not asking this question, you should.) You may also be asking yourself: “What could possibly be left to announce after everyone has already made their big announcements at the two previous events?”
Not that I am biased here, but I would say those are both great questions. And while my crystal ball has been anything but trusty (Really, the Microsoft Kin devices are going to be huge hits?!?) I will attempt to forecast what could possibly be noteworthy during the CTIA show.
–First of all, make sure you set your alarms Tuesday morning so as to not miss one second of the opening keynote/roundtable/cage fighting match that will see the CEOs from the nation’s four largest operators all on one stage.
Now, in the past these sorts of gatherings at these sorts of events have been for the most part cordial affairs with lots of compliments being tossed about. This makes sense as you would hate to tell someone they are the world’s biggest jerk and not fit to run a TCBY let alone an AT&T when you are going to have to face them a few hours later at your heliport or sometime that evening back at the secret volcano lair. Awkward!
Sure, someone might occasionally throw in some bard about a carrier’s marketing tactics or make a comment about someone’s choice of attire, but in general these can be somewhat uneventful events.
But, for some reason my Spidey-Sense is telling me that this year’s ExecFest is going to be a little meatier. The divide between these operators has continued to grow with the Big 2 of Verizon Wireless and AT&T Mobility further shadowing the efforts of the Little 2 of Sprint Nextel and T-Mobile USA. Heck the latter two have more in common with regional players at this point than they do with the former.
And because of this, I think Mr. Hesse and Mr. Humm are going to throw caution to the wind and go at Mr. Mead and Mr. de la Vega Lucho Libre-style!
Even better is that this free-for-all will be moderated/refereed by none other than that screaming financial mouthpiece Jim Cramer, who when not screaming or being a financial mouthpiece can be seen backtracking on just about every statement he has ever screamed while being a mouthpiece.
I’m telling you, this could be epic.
–Next, those workaholics over at Samsung have a press conference scheduled where they are going to announce yet another mobile device/gadget/doohickey that will leave everyone either speechless in amazement or speechless in unbelieveableness. Either way, the place will be quiet.
Now, my guess is that Samsung is going to unveil a number of new smart phone/tablet devices designed to hit markets not yet smothered by the thousands of smart phones/tablets that have been announced since this morning. The key features of these new devices will be that they sport screen sizes of 5.9 inches, 6.3 inches, 8.2 inches, 8.3 inches and 109.8 inches. They will all run the whatever Android flavor of the day is – probably Maple-Glazed Longjohn Donut With Sprinkles – with their only significant differentiator being the screen sizes will fill in the only ones that have not already been launched.
Like I said, crickets.
–And finally, the only other big news from the show will be at an after-hour party being thrown on Monday night that will be hosted by a cast of “celebrities.” According to the flyer, hosting the event will be someone named Kim Kardashian. Not sure who he is, but I am guessing he will be very professional in this role. Also attending this event in a feature role will be some former rockstar named Brett Michaels, who I think was either in The Monkees or maybe it was Quiet Riot. Can’t remember for sure.
But most importantly will be the other featured guest, Tommy Davidson, who I think we can all agree will be the headliner at this event.
OK, enough of that.
Thanks for checking out this week’s Worst of the Week column. And now for some extras:
–Not that those people that are crazy about any and all social networking are really crazy, but J.D. Powers and Associates latest study on the habits of these insane individuals lends further proof that you should not look these people straight in the eye. It seems that people that love to tell everyone what they are doing every second of the day also are very much in love with those devices that allow them to be so sharing.
–Finally. You think your commute to work is tough?:
I welcome your comments. Please send me an e-mail at dmeyer@ardenmedia.com.
