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Worst of the Week: Apple zinger

Hello! And welcome to our Friday column, Worst of the Week. There’s a lot of nutty stuff that goes on in this industry, so this column is a chance for us at RCRWireless.com to rant and rave about whatever rubs us the wrong way. We hope you enjoy it!

And without further ado:

Who knew Apple had such a sense of humor, both childish and dark. Here I was for all these years thinking that the “Big A” was just some monolithic corporate entity that steamrolled its way into the psyche of consumers in a way that bordered on a cult. When in reality Apple was a huge fan of Adam Sandler and George Carlin. Nice.

The punch line(s) came this week when Apple announced its latest iPad device, the iPad Mini. Now, for those of you that somehow managed to avoid all forms of media this week, the iPad Mini is a tablet device sporting a 7.9-inch screen and all the Apple-ness one would expect from an Apple device. Mmmm, apples.

The “mini” part comes in as the new model is smaller than the regular iPad, which provides for a screen size of 9.7-inches. (I am not saying this is part of the joke, but sort of fun that the two devices have screen sizes using interchangeable numbers. Way to maximize margins on number usage Apple! Zing!) While not coming out and saying it, the iPad Mini makes the regular iPad the “iPad Maxi,” no? It does not take much of a brain to get that well designed joke. In fact, I would suggest that the less brain used on this one, the better.

Zing!

And to think, Apple has been cooking up this zinger ever since it came up with the odd “iPad” name for its original tablet so many years ago.

Further expanding on its joking nature, Apple’s newest iPad “Maxi” includes some significant hardware improvements that are sure to ensnare consumers that are still somehow on the fence regarding their need to have a tablet device. (Quit questioning it people, just buy one already. In fact, buy two. Apple could really use your help.)

Of course, those who just happened to purchase what was then termed “The New iPad” just a few months ago are now sitting there staring at a device that may still have that new tablet smell and the word “New” in its name, but is now in fact old and outdated. Isn’t progress fun!

Zing!

Apple had historically taken a similar approach to the automotive industry in terms of rolling out new models: introduce a new model every year with enough enhancements to entice, but not revolutionary enough to enrage those that might have just walked out of the store with last year’s model. And it seemed to work to perfection.

The enhancements that make the new iPad “newer” include a faster processor, which everyone will love; and a smaller connector, which everyone will complain about. You know, progress. I can only guess that these enhancements were not available earlier this year, but were so important to the reputation and financial well being of Apple that they were worthy of an all new device.

This move seems to show Apple following the lead of arch-rival and court-room buddy Samsung, which seems to take pleasure in rolling out new Galaxy/Note devices every other week when ever a parts supplier changes one digit on a component.

(Look, Samsung just rolled out a new device this week!)

All I can say is: Good one, Apple. You got ‘em. All those poor saps that stood in line back in March thinking they were going to purchase a product that would stand the test of time, or at least a year? You got ‘em.

Zing!

OK, enough of that.
Thanks for checking out this week’s Worst of the Week column. And now for some extras:

Sprint Nextel this week unveiled a downloadable application that will “chirpify” select Android-powered smartphones with its awesome push-to-talk service. Remember PTT? That was that walkie-talkie service that drove Sprint to pony up $35 billion for Nextel (plus a gazillion megahertz of 2.5 GHz spectrum) and allowed consumers to play like “BJ and the Bear.” No? Ask your parents.

–I was again reminded this week about the true benefit of having access to hundreds of thousands of applications on mobile devices, and more importantly having hundreds of those applications residing on my device: hours of fun updating those applications.

It could have been just me, my selection of applications, or the moon’s placement in the sky, but it seemed that I spent a good chunk of this week blindly agreeing to new terms and conditions on applications habiting my smartphone(s). Sure, some of those updates could include malware or other malicious code that now allows all of my neighbors to track my insatiable appetite for throwing birds and slashing fruit, but dang if those application developers don’t make it all worthwhile by offering up that cool “progress” bar that shows those updates being downloaded. Watching that progression is almost more fun than most of the games I have downloaded to that device.

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