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Worst of the Week: A happy ending?

Hello! And welcome to our Friday column, Worst of the Week. There’s a lot of nutty stuff that goes on in this industry, so this column is a chance for us at RCRWireless.com to rant and rave about whatever rubs us the wrong way. We hope you enjoy it!

And without further ado:

Man, a lot has happened in the mobile space over the past 168 hours that I feel as if my head has both exploded and imploded, or basically the same feeling I get when I over-indulge in bacon and eggs.

(Psych! It’s not possible to over-indulge in bacon and eggs.)

One of the biggest stories was that “multichannel retailer” HSN, otherwise known as the Home Shopping Network for those of us that spent way too time in front of the TV instead of studying during college, will be offering the Nokia Lumia 521 device during its bi-annual Innovation Weekend.

(Just kidding, but only the fact that that was an important news item and not in the fact that that is actually happening.)

The really-really-really big news was that MetroPCS investors were finally convinced (cha-ching!) to approve its merger (?) with T-Mobile USA. The move has of course been a long-time in coming and finally provides an exit path for MetroPCS at a time when competition for the no-contract market it targets is red hot (or is that white hot?).

Not that MetroPCS has not been an exciting member of the wireless carrier family for all these many years. Who can forget its beginnings as General Wireless when it won licenses during the PCS auctions of the mid-90s, only to then have questions raised about foreign ownership rules and then something about a bankruptcy? Good times.

General Wireless eventually shook off that rocky beginning, along with its name (what, was “John Smith Wireless” not available?) and began disrupting the wireless space with flat-rate, unlimited services that while limited in geographic scope did manage to attract a following. Heck, even some other carriers followed suit with that business model, at times a bit too close for MetroPCS.

And for T-Mobile USA, the deal closing will allow the carrier to make good on some of its marketing promises, though perhaps not on all of them. Sure, parent company Deutsche Telekom had to grease the wheels a bit to get final approval, but with a grease supply that was recently re-filled thanks to AT&T’s failed attempt to acquire T-Mobile USA, that did not seem to be much of an issue.

The announcement also means that Dish Networks is on the clock to now put in a bid for either MetroPCS, T-Mobile USA or both in about two weeks. That bid will somehow be more convoluted than the deal that MetroPCS and T-Mobile USA just consummated and will keep bean counters awake for months. The clock is ticking Mr. Ergen.

And if for some reason you can’t manage to swing some outlandish offer for the newlyweds, and that current craziness involving Sprint Nextel and Clearwire gets boring, may I suggest you take a look towards San Diego, where I just know there is a carriers that would leap (get it?) at the chance to have billions of dollars thrown its way.

Maybe next week.

OK, enough of that.
Thanks for checking out this week’s Worst of the Week column. And now for some extras:

–If you think all the rancor over distracted driving caused by cellphones has gotten out of hand, just wait until there are 10 million people walking around with so-called smart glasses. IHS’ IMS Research released a report this week predicting that number of smart glasses will be shipped by 2016, though luckily most of those shipments are expected to be to developers and not real people.

For those unfamiliar with the whole smart glasses phenomenon, IMS Research succinctly describes the devices as “smart glass products like Google Glass are wearable computers with a head-mounted display.” That’s right, computers mounted to people’s heads with the screen placed in front of their eyes.

I guess the one positive from this new mobile segment is that Euro-chic square-framed glasses will no longer be used to tell the world how “smart” you are.

–Speaking of ridiculous devices, 451 Research’s ChangeWave said it has found “exceptionally strong consumer interest in an Apple iWatch device,” according to a consumer survey. The firm kindly notes that “While an ‘iWatch’ doesn’t yet exist – and if it ever does it will have to live up to super high expectations – it has the potential to be another huge success for the Cupertino, Calif., manufacturer.”

Now, by “exceptionally strong consumer interest” ChangeWave’s charts show that 19% of those surveyed were either “very likely” or “somewhat likely” to buy a theoretical “iWatch” device for themselves or someone else. Not sure how “exceptional” of a response 19% is, but I would think that for any product with an “i” in front of it that seems a bit low. That is probably a good thing as the thought of further distractions coming from the wrist and the glasses in front of your face will not be good for anyone.

–New most-awesome name for a company: Alpha and Omega Semiconductor. Sort of makes “Qualcomm” seem a bit underwhelming, no?

I welcome your comments. Please send me an e-mail at dmeyer@rcrwireless.com.

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