Hello! And welcome to our Friday column, Worst of the Week. There’s a lot of nutty stuff that goes on in this industry, so this column is a chance for us at RCRWireless.com to rant and rave about whatever rubs us the wrong way. We hope you enjoy it!
And without further ado:
I’ve said it before and I will say it again: Mobile devices are awesome!
I mean last week I was face-to-face with a smartphone that had a 3-D screen that did not need any ridiculous glasses. This device also took pictures and shot video in 3-D using two (2!) cameras. And this is a device that in a few months anyone with a couple hundred bucks to their name can just go and purchase. 3-D!
If only real life was in 3-D.
This is just the latest in a long line of awesomeness that has gushed from the wireless industry over the past several months. It seems that every day a new gadget is thrust upon us that is somehow more miraculous than the last one we just spent all of our saliva drooling over.
Lucky for my bank account that I am someone who can go more than six months without just having to have the latest and greatest device. For those poor saps that buckle under the pressure of increased processing speed or camera pixels, I can only guess the past several months have been rough … and expensive.
However, there could be a wrinkle in this space/time continuom if recent rumors are to be believed (and why shouldn’t they be).
Those rumors indicate that Apple may push off its customary June/July launch date for its next iPhone variation until sometime this fall. What the what!?! That might mean that customers that waited for days in line last June to purchase the iPhone 4 may have to carry around that same device for more than 12 months. Oh the indignity!
(The main caveat here being that I am guessing many of those that stood in line last June for the AT&T Mobility version of the iPhone 4 have more recently traded in that model for the Verizon Wireless version. So, that’s sort of a new one, no?)
What the heck does Apple think it’s doing? You train people to expect a new device every 12 months and then when you can’t deliver you expect the world to just keep spinning? What are you, Microsoft?
We are people that now expect our electronic devices to need daily, if not hourly updates. We spend more time now waiting for our devices to update, shutdown and reboot than we do talking to each other. And when it comes to cellphones, the shelf life has rapidly dwindled from around two years not too long ago to about 13 hours today.
The thought of carrying around a device that was purchased in 2010 just seems ridiculous.
Maybe in Apple’s case the company is cooking up something so forward thinking and mind blowing that it figured people camping in line outside of their stores in the heat of the summer would result in a rash of spontaneous combustions that would look bad on television and could be a bit of a PR nightmare.
I mean, we now have a device set to launch that has a 3-D screen! Apple can’t launch something that only copies that. It has to unveil something that makes 3-D look like a black-and-white silent movie and make anyone who actually buys one of those 3-D devices feel like they made the biggest mistake of their life. Literally.
So, will the wait be worth it? Will Apple’s (rumored) plan to push off the launch of the next iPhone by months result in a temporary break down of society, only to then be rescued by Apple unveiling a device so advanced that it makes the human race rethink the terms “society,” “family,” “communications” and “teleportation”? I don’t know.
All I know is that Apple is playing with the lives of a lot of people here, and let’s just hope that all that misdirected devotion is not thrown back in our faces like a cheap 3-D stunt.
(Caution, this is not suitable for anyone under the age of 21 or over the age of 32, and definitely not suitable for a work environment, unless that environment includes zoo animals. You have been warned.)
OK, enough of that.
Thanks for checking out this week’s Worst of the Week column. And now for some extras:
–MetroPCS stepped up to the plate in reintroducing “real” sports back into the mobile space with the launch of a Huawei smartphone “sanctioned” by mixed martial arts and “lifestyle” brand Tapout. (They actually spell it “TapouT,” but there is no way I can agree to following along with that. Unless of course one of those Tapout guys shows up at my door asking me to follow along at which point I am all about TapouT.)
Many will remember one-time mobile virtual network operator Amp’d Mobile rode high on such “extreme” sports, only to then crash and burn after not being able to attract enough of those fans. But I think MetroPCS might be onto something this time as it has some unique features sure to impress the hard-to-impress. As its press release states the device will include “uniquely designed covers,” and nothing is as tough or extreme as “uniquely designed covers” on a smartphone.
–In perhaps the worst case of mixing a company name with what that company actually does, a firm out of Tempe, Ariz., has set a new standard in absurdity. The company, harmlessly named Unicorn Media, announced this week that it has some new offering that takes advantage of some new patented technology platform that now supports the syndication of video content to mobile devices, or something.
To be honest I did not really get the gist of what the company was touting as I was only scanning the release for any mention of actual unicorns. Any company going with unicorn in its name better in fact be either a producer or seller of unicorns. That is just one term that there should be no messing around with. And if for some reason they are not in the unicorn business, they better at least have something to do with gumdrops or rainbows.
I welcome your comments. Please send me an e-mail at dmeyer@ardenmedia.com.
