Editor’s Note: RCR Wireless News has made many questionable decisions over the years. One of which is agreeing to let a long-time industry observer provide commentary on what is chapping his hide across the wireless industry. His name is Hunter Gates. We call him the Mobile Martyr. We also attempt to make this column suitable for most to read, but despite our best efforts still received a “PG-13” rating. You have been warned.
How big is yours, Bubba?
Bigger than mine, or smaller?
I refer, obviously, to the question on most retailers’ lips on “iPhone 6 Day.” Did my retail store have a longer line of half-crazed, sleep-deprived fools standing outside all night long? Just so they could be one of the first to get the latest and greatest toy? It was (once again) an amazing spectacle of what consumers will do, if only retailers and manufacturers can align the stars. Or more accurately, it’s what happens every time Apple pops out a new baby. Hell, we don’t even care if the baby is ugly.
And they say the retail store is dead; defunct; a place for “show-rooming” only. Not on “A-Day,” that’s for sure. Think about this: assume for a moment that I’m not a complete idiot; I get the fact that people do want the latest toy right now and that the iPhone is the ultimate toy of all time. But, lining up for hours, or even days, outside? Really? Did they know they could have just ordered it online … and from their old iPhone at that. For the other 364 days of the year, most of these folks scoff at the idea of walking into a retail store. Need toilet paper? Amazon sells it surely. Supposedly the vast majority of us have transcended the retail coil, instead favoring the “Internet of Things” (retail).
But have we really? Sure, my toilet paper might be delivered weekly, and Lord knows I don’t need to buy most consumer electronics anywhere other than Amazon.com. Hell, I don’t even buy physical books, music or gaming disks these days. But maybe I’m looking at the Apple event the wrong way round. Perhaps this is the perfect example of how mobile remains a store-first product and flies in the face of the “Internet God,” even as the device helps to empower such online behavior, destroying all other forms of physical retail. Now that’s a nice damn trick.
Most mobile device sales still require a visit to the store, be it the carrier, the “big-box retailer” or (especially) Apple. Sure, we don’t need to go; we could order online and wait by the mailbox, but in general we still want to touch and caress the phone before entering into a long-term relationship with it. This is not a one-night hook-up with someone we met at a bar, my friends. No Bubba, even without the handcuffs or old-school contract we still know that you and the phone will be going steady for a year or so. Hell, now that we’re paying full whack for the phone, it could be longer than two years before we’ve paid it all off (yes, thanks, I’ve heard of Edge, JUMP and other fluffy-colored handcuffs from the carriers). As one guy in line at the Apple event said: “My phone is like my woman: I trade her in every two years.”
This is why the carriers have to be the smuggest of all retailers. They see us walking through the mall and they just know that one day, soon, they’ll have you by the b**** when you come by the store to look at the new pretty toys. All the other retailers simply look at you with pleading eyes, hoping against hope that you’ll stop by and give them a chance. But it has to change: it will change.
While it will take a long time before we stop wanting to rub the phone first, where we go to buy will continue to slowly morph. And it’s the carrier’s fault. Just as the phone choice has become simple, the plan options have spun out of control. It’s a feeding frenzy of carriers, and you, the consumer, are the prey. So many data choices, so many claims that mine is bigger (here we go again) than yours. The only solution is to put them in one room and watch them duke it out. And that means going somewhere else, such as a big-box retailer.
Hell. There may just be life in the old big box after all. Stock all the phones – stock more than all the phones by broadening distribution beyond the norm. And focus the most effort of highlighting which plan works for the person standing at the front of the line. At least that way you’ve got the consumer in the store once in a while and it’s your turn to look into their eyes while you grab their cojones … and wallet.
Hunter Gates likes to buy most things online, including his toilet paper. He still likes to visit his local mall though due to a morbid fascination in seeing which stores have gone out of business. There are limits to his online shopping though: his bourbon is purchased at an actual bar with no sign of VR gear, phones or other online shenanigans. Feel free to contact Hunter at hstgates@gmail.com.
Photo copyright: adrianhancu / 123RF Stock Photo
