Hello!
And welcome to our Thursday column, Worst of the Week. There’s a lot of nutty stuff that goes on in this industry, so this column is a chance for us at RCR to rant and rave about whatever rubs us the wrong way. We hope you enjoy it!
And without further ado:
So Motorola hired Abhishek Bachchan as its new “brand ambassador” in India. As I’m sure everyone already knows, Mr. Bachchan is a famous Indian actor. You might remember him from such films as “Bluff Master,” “Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna” and “Umrao Jaan.” (Update : Several readers wrote in to say that “Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna” and “Umrao Jaan” have not been released yet. My knowledge of Indian cinema is not as it once was. My bad.)
Motorola calls Mr. Bachchan its new “Motostar.” I think the word “Motostar” is Motofantastic. It makes me very Motoexcited. Motomeatloaf. Motomonkey. Motonokia. OK, I’ll stop.
The funny part? Mr. Bachchan is also an Indian spokesman for appliances from LG, Motorola’s rival. So while he’s ambassadoring for the Razr, he’s also talking about how great LG’s refrigerators are. To save time he should just combine the two campaigns. For example:
“Hello! I’m Abhishek Bachchan. You might remember me from such films as “Bluff Master” and the upcoming “Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna” and “Umrao Jaan.” My Motorazr is such a hot phone, I need this LG refrigerator to keep it cool!” (Cut to Mr. Bachchan opening a fridge full of phones, cackling maniacally.)
I wish Motorola had a “brand ambassador” (Motostar) in the United States. I guess they sort of do with tennis player Maria Sharapova, who supposedly uses a pink Razr. But I think they need someone more famous, like Pauly Shore. Or Vice President Dick Cheney. Or maybe Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt, that new blockbuster baby from Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.
Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt could join the ranks of other well-known “brand ambassadors” in wireless like… you know… what’s-her-face, the actress married to Michael Douglas, who’s in the T-Mobile USA TV commercials. Get more indeed! Or that hyper-annoying “Can you hear me now” dude from Verizon Wireless. Am I the only person who wants to beat that guy senseless with a sack of nickels?
And did you see Tom Cruise humping Helio? I’m sure it’s all part of Helio’s efforts to appeal to Korean Americans. Or maybe they’re aiming at the Scientology demographic? I have no idea.
But really, whatever happened to Sprint’s trench-coat guy? That guy was awesome. If I was ever in a fight with a bunch of drunk, chain-wielding bikers, I’d want the trench-coat guy on my side. I bet he’s a ninja or something.
Poor trench-coat guy. Right now he’s probably crying into his beer in the same bar as the “Dude, you got a Dell” dude and the “yo quiero” Taco Bell dog. ( Update: Astute reader Michelle writes, “I saw the ‘dude you’re getting a Dell guy’ on the subway in NY a few months ago. He was lugging his bike onto the train from one of the Brooklyn stops. It looks like PC spokesmen is apparently not the fast track to a legitimate acting career.”)
My point is we need more famous people telling us how to live and what to buy. Although Michael Jordan made a terrific effort by advertising for Nike, Gatorade, Hanes, McDonald’s, Rayovac, Ball Park Franks and the late MCI—all during the same commercial break—he can’t be expected to do everything. He’s only one man … isn’t he?
So Motorola, quit wasting your time with that deliciously handsome Mr. Bachchan and get busy signing up some non-Bollywood brand ambassadors for us Americans. I want Bill Gates pimping the Q and Steve Jobs slobbering over the Rokr. I want Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt clutching a Scpl while drooling on her genetically perfect parents. I want President Bush tapping into my phone calls to tell me to buy a Razr. Is that too much to ask for?
OK! Enough of that. Thanks for checking out this Worst of the Week column. And now, some extras:
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So I’ve been trying out LG’s Fusic from Sprint Nextel. It’s a great little phone, but I still think the name is silly.
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Mauj Telecom is going to offer ringtones from the upcoming 56th Miss World 2006. I think I speak for everyone when I say: What? (Update: Arun Gupta, the CEO of Mauj Telecom, writes in to say, “video ringtones would have videos of miss world contestants doing a ramp walk with background catwalk music. thats a product which has been successful for us already in a lot of mkts with other glamour events.” So there you have it.)
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And finally, worst shameless self promotion of the week: Sign up now for RCR’s upcoming Webinar, hosted by yours truly Mike “yo quiero” Dano. We’ve got Opera, Amp’d and AOL on board, should be very interesting.
I welcome your comments. Please send me an e-mail at mdano@crain.com
