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Too much, too little

I love cell phones. In my book they are one of humanity’s greatest advancements-along with Red Bull and break dancing-of my lifetime and I would rather leave my house without my wallet, keys or pants before forgoing my nifty mobile.

However, the latest wave of data applications hogging precious space on mobile devices leaves much to be desired. Sure, mobile television, streaming audio and 3D gaming are cool ideas that the industry is using to push more wireless data adoption-and thus make up for plummeting voice revenues-but in most cases these applications are rendered unappealing on tiny mobile devices.

Every time I get the chance to test the latest mobile phones the first thing I do is download all the latest and greatest data applications, and invariably I end up underwhelmed by their performance. Whether it’s the small screen, slow network connection, tinny sound quality or finger-cramping keypads, most data applications on mobile devices leave me wanting.

Inevitably I end up going back to the more basic games, applications and on-deck Web surfing that wireless phones seem better suited to. Text messaging, basic games and taking poor quality pictures are feats most cell phones can handle deftly, but attempting to play first-person games, watch streaming video or navigate downloadable music applications is maddening. Worse yet, mobile gaming is driving me ever closer to purchasing a Sony PSP, which I can ill afford.

Sure, handset manufacturers, carriers and game developers have attempted to bolster the appeal of wireless data apps with unique phone designs, user interfaces or add-ons, but those feeble attempts have proven laughable and in the end could turn people off to even trying advanced services if their first experience is unsatisfactory.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m no luddite. Any business trip requires me to color code all the adaptors and chargers needed to power my mobile office, and I have noticed that friends and family quickly try to change the subject-or in some cases flee-when I begin talking about the latest wireless advancement.

But just because someone comes up with a way to integrate an espresso machine into a mobile phone does not mean such an unholy contraption should be produced.

Now, a break-dance-teaching, Red-Bull-dispensing phone that can still fit into my pocket? That’s another story.

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