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Worst of the Week: Why won’t my phone control an angry mob?

Hello! And welcome to our Friday column, Worst of the Week. There’s a lot of nutty stuff that goes on in this industry, so this column is a chance for us at RCRWireless.com to rant and rave about whatever rubs us the wrong way. We hope you enjoy it!

And without further ado:
Well it looks like the federal government is at it again. The new head honchos at your Federal Communications Commission are shining up their magnifying glasses in an attempt to scour the wireless industry clean of all consumer-unfriendly practices and make the streets safe for all.
The latest investigation is set to involve a detailed look into innovation and investment, the state of competition and whether consumers are receiving enough information from carriers on their service plans. This is expected to be a far-reaching look at the current state of the wireless industry, which in my view, is way too far-reaching and in-depth to be able to come up with any measurable conclusions over the next four years. With all the players involved both from those backing the industry and those who claim to back consumers, this sounds like a good ole’ fashioned trainwreck.
Instead of trying to delve into all of the topics the FCC is hoping to gather information on, I will focus on one that will likely garner strong headlines and passionate responses — handset exclusivity deals.
Now, this subject is nothing new to the wireless industry, but it did gain considerable strength following the launch of Apple Inc.’s iPhone, which was available in the U.S. exclusively through AT&T Mobility. (Though I was pretty upset in 2000 when I could not use the Neopoint 1600 on my Sprint service. The man is always trying to keep me down.) Those 200 million wireless customer not already signed up with AT&T Mobility went on a rampage claiming they should have equal access to this life-altering device and that for it not to be made available to everyone immediately was a more heinous crime than having to sit through any and all teenage vampire/love story movies.
But is the problem really with handset exclusivity deals? I mean one of the crowning achievements of the domestic wireless market compared to most places in the world is the fact that the government does not force operators to use any specific technology. Along with this freedom comes the downside that not every handset manufacturer will want to invest the effort into making an analog/TDMA/CDMA/PDC/GSM/WiMAX/GPRS/1x/EDGE/EV-DO/GAIT/xMax/HSPA/UMTS/LTE/Wi-Fi/Zigbee/Bluetooth/TD-SCDMA device. Sure Apple could have made a CDMA, or a TDMA or a WiMAX or an iDEN version of the device, but it didn’t make financial sense. And that decision had a lot more to do with which carrier could carry the device rather than any back-room dealings between AT&T and Apple.
And I’m not sure any other carrier would really have been that interested in carrying the device. Sure, AT&T Mobility has seen tremendous customer growth by being the exclusive provider, but that growth and the ease in which the iPhone allows users to access data services has overwhelmed AT&T Mobility’s network and given the carrier a black eye that could take billions of dollars in capital expenditures and marketing expenses to cure. All the while, AT&T’s largest competitor, Verizon Wireless, has been able to sit back and watch as AT&T Mobility customers cry from the top of their rooftops, places they apparently need to be standing in order to get a 3G signal, that they would switch to Verizon Wireless in a heartbeat if not for the device being locked to AT&T. We can hear you now, indeed.
Of course, these technology limitations have no meaning to consumers who instead are screaming that they want to be able to make a call from their Kindle using free signals generated by the microwave oven.
I say instead of hassling carriers for handset exclusivity deals, why not try to crack down on those creepy salespeople at mall kiosks that are always trying to pitch you on a new phone with such seductive come-on lines as: “Hey, hey buddy. Do you like your cellphone service?” Or, “Yo, man, who’s your carrier?” Most of the time I just ignore these silky-voiced lotharios, though I do every once in a while get the urge to interact with them just to see how far they will go to get me into a new phone. Maybe they will wash my car? Foot rub?
So, as I have clearly shown, Greedo obviously did not shoot first … oh wait … what was I talking about again? Oh yeah. Legislating handset exclusivity arrangements=poor use of government resources, which means it will likely happen.
OK! Enough of that.
Thanks for checking out this Worst of the Week column. And now some extras:
–And you just thought it was the dog days of summer. A recent study conducted by the Communications Workers of America found that while average broadband speeds in the U.S. have increased over the past two years, it still lagged behind the world leaders — South Korea, Japan and Sweden — in the ability to download porn. The country’s overall average download speed – not including college drinking contests – increased from 3.5 megabits per second in 2007 to 5.1 Mbps this year. The Northeast led the nation with the five fastest downloads concentrated in those states that think the country ends past Pennsylvania , while our first line of defense against Russia and polar bears, Alaska, brought up the rear with average download speeds of 2.3 Mbps. Well wireless industry, you now have a challenge:Let’s get Alaska up to speed.
–Japanese researchers said they have been able to crack the WPA security protocol for Wi-Fi networks in less than 60 seconds. I have two comments on this. Why did it take so long? And, shouldn’t these researchers be doing more constructive work like trying to prevent Mechagodzilla from rampaging through Tokyo? Well, looks like I will just go with my old Wi-Fi security standby: wearing my tin foil hat so that weird guy sitting next to me can’t read my thoughts.

I welcome your comments. Please send me an e-mail at dmeyer@ardenmediaco.com.

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