Were there not enough sports metaphors in politics already, the addition of former Buffalo Bills quarterback, congressman and Housing secretary Jack Kemp to the Dole prez ticket has made matters worse.
Naughty Dems, lobbing toy Hail Mary footballs at Republicans at their national convention.
Kemp answered the challenge in the husky voice that used to bark out signals from behind center and now barks out the virtues of supply-side economics, affirmative action and immigration (to name just a few issues on which he differs with Dole) in front of big crowds.
“Quarterbacks are always ready*…*Quarterbacks don’t get butterflies*…*You cannot walk in a huddle of men from different backgrounds and ethnic groups and religions and colors, and not realize that this nation is one team,” he says.
Kemp, publicly conceding QB duties to Dole, says he’ll block for the veteran Kansan legislator and former athlete in youth.
All this is too much. The pols are making a mockery of intelligent political discourse and monkeys of us all.
If that’s the way they feel, the Dems should scrap Evan Bayh, governor of Indiana, as keynote speaker of this week’s national conventional and replace him with Binti Jua, a genuine American hero. The change would allow Clinton to play to women, animal rights activists and single mothers.
Seriously though, what happens if all this sports speak creeps into wireless reportage.
Washington-The Wireless Wonders capped a two-out, ninth inning rally with a suicide squeeze play to top the Bellco Bombers in the Interconnection World Series.
The outcome was in doubt after Bomber Manager Neel got into a heated argument with homeplate umpire Hundt. Umpires Quello, Chong and Ness declined to overrule Hundt. Wonder coaches Wheeler and Kitchen restrained players from a potential bench-clearing brawl after verbal provocation from Bomber players.
When the dust settled, Hundt stretched out both arms and yelled, “SAFE!” “Hooray!” cheered Wheeler, punctuating the dramatic come-from-behind victory.
… Elsewhere, there are rumblings that the Wireless Wonders may have thrown the RF guideline contest. Some disgruntled fans and players see the FCC interconnection ruling as a makeup call by Hundt, who with RF czar Browner, slammed wireless on RF and won them over. The pols have another name for it: quid pro quo.
In other news …
… On the FCC’s decision to end bidding credits for women and minorities and to relax C-block financial qualifications: The FCC punted.
