Worst of the Week: All hail Google

Hello!
And welcome to our Thursday column, Worst of the Week. There’s a lot of nutty stuff that goes on in this industry, so this column is a chance for us at RCRWireless.com to rant and rave about whatever rubs us the wrong way. We hope you enjoy it!
And without further ado:
So I think I finally understand Google’s Android effort. I mean, I know it’s about providing an operating system for cellphones, that’s pretty simple (I am a high-school graduate, after all). But I think I actually understand the purpose behind it: To rule the world. Or at least command it very sternly.
I came to this realization after purchasing a smartphone for myself. Thanks to my new smartphone, I am now one of those weirdoes who goes around checking his e-mail all the time and watching movies on his phone. I’m the kind of guy that normal people talk about in hushed tones, shaking their heads with dismay while taking another sip of their Bud Light. I’m now the kind of guy my parents like to make fun of.
But that’s not my point. My point is that I have a smartphone, and it can do all sorts of neat stuff. But now that I’m doing more than just calling and playing Java games, I can see the benefit of connected services.
For example, if the company that made the software on my smartphone was the same one that managed my personal e-mail account, I suspect the two would work together very well. Further, if the company that made the software on my smartphone was the same that managed a popular video-sharing Web site, I suspect the two would work very well together. The same goes for photo-sharing and photo-messaging, viewing various documents and file types, finding local businesess and getting maps and directions, or doing things like, say, searching the Internet for information.
If you haven’t yet guessed it yet, Google is doing all of these things. Google Web Search, Google Calendar, Google Docs, Gmail, YouTube (owned by Google), Picasa (Google’s photo-sharing service), Google Maps, Google Finance . the list goes on and on. All of these Google products are designed for Internet users, but I’m guessing they could be transferred onto mobile (and in many cases already have) fairly easily. Further, many of these Google services already tie into concepts that already have been introduced by the wireless industry (picture messaging and GPS, for example), which means that a Google-powered smartphone could essentially tie a large number of the search giant’s services into a mobile package that savvy wireless users would be primed to adopt.
See what I mean? Ruling the world (or at least sternly commanding).
Now, I know that this approach isn’t a brand new strategy. Nokia is aiming at the same thing with its Ovi effort, and Apple has managed to tie a number of its desktop and Internet offerings into its iPhone play. But I would argue neither of these companies has the breadth of popular products or financial weight to really tie everything together – unlike Google.
Naturally, though, there appears to be bumps along the way. My colleague Colin Gibbs recently pointed out some of the difficulties Android faces right now. So perhaps in the short term Google won’t be able to invade the White House and bring us all to heel with its crack squad of secret police. But if the company does manage to tie its online and mobile efforts into a unified platform, I for one plan to pledge allegiance to Google early on, in order to avoid attending any possible re-education camps.
Finally, I know there is one player I haven’t yet mentioned: Microsoft. The company is in a similar position to use its power in the desktop computer space to push into mobile and eventually take over the world. But if you’ve ever used a Microsoft product you’ll know that – based on the many terrible products that company puts out – Microsoft couldn’t possibly rule anything. Or even command it sternly.
OK! Enough of that.
Thanks for checking out this Worst of the Week column. And now, some extras:
–So Garmin’s Nuvifone has been delayed until next year. Now, normally I would comment on the fact that it’s called the “Nuvifone,” which has to be the worst product name in the history of time, but that’s not the best part of the whole thing. Garmin said the delay was due to the fact that “meeting some of the carrier-specific requirements will take longer than anticipated.” Now, I’m no engineer, but it’s a pretty well-known fact that each carrier has its own set of requirements for phones. I can just hear the folks over at Garmin: “What now? GSM and CDMA are different??!?!” Good stuff.
–AT&T announced today a new contract with American Nuclear Insurers. According to the press release, ANI is “a joint underwriting association that provides liability insurance for nuclear facilities throughout the United States.” Now, I’m no businessman, but ANI sounds like a company that you should probably not do business with. For a variety of reasons. Unless, of course, you have already been irradiated, like Bruce Banner or the Fantastic Four.
I welcome your comments. Please send me an e-mail at mdano@crain.com. Or, if you prefer, leave a comment in the space below.