Worst of the Week: Auction burnout

Hello!
And welcome to our Thursday column, Worst of the Week. There’s a lot of nutty stuff that goes on in this industry, so this column is a chance for us at RCRWirelessNews.com to rant and rave about whatever rubs us the wrong way. We hope you enjoy it!
And without further ado:
So, as I am typing this, or perhaps as you are reading this, the Federal Communication Commission’s Auction 73 — also known as the 700 MHz auction, or the Auction To End All Auctions (ATEAA) — could be winding down or even finished. And I don’t know whether to be happy or sad.
You see, when this auction kicked off back in late January, it was like a late Christmas or early birthday present, not that I get many of those anymore — except when a certain Mike Dano calls in sick. The early auction action included large sums of money being thrown around by anonymous entities — thanks FCC — that quickly added billions of dollars to the FCC’s piggy bank, which like all good piggies quickly gained weight before providing the three most delicious foods to my kitchen table: pork chops, bacon and ham. Mmmmm, ham.
The highly controversial C-Block license was the early belle-of-the-ball as the bids for the licenses slowly crept to the $4.6 billion reserve price that would trigger an open-access provision for the spectrum. Then there was the lack of interest in the national-commercial/public-safety D-Block license, which received a single bid in the opening round, which I am attributing to Verizon Wireless attempting to make an early statement by placing at least one bid on every license up for grabs. However, the D Block has not seen a new bid since.
It was exciting times around the RCR Wireless News’ offices, and more specifically in the Dan Meyer Cubicle, where every square inch of desk space was covered with spectrum maps and bidding results. Some of my co-workers might have questioned my sanity through the early going, but I think they eventually realized in fact that they were the crazy ones for not catching Auction 73 Fever!
(Side note: After visiting a doctor, I was told that I was not infused with Auction 73 Fever as my own self diagnosis had determined, but had actually been suffering from a case of caffeine and Taurine overexposure blamed on the ingestion of significant quantities of Red Bull. Like that’s possible.)
But, after more than 160 rounds of bidding, and with most of the past 100 rounds centered on airwaves over such population hot beds as Lake, Minn.; Franklin, Ark.; and Corson, S.D., my enthusiasm has waned.
Sure there is some intrigue in what is to become of those licenses that have yet to receive a single bid. Is the air over Lubbock, Texas; Bismarck, N.D.; and Steubenville, Ohio, so undesirable that no one is willing to bid on those licenses? I mean for the low, low price of $58,000 some lucky soul can own 12 megahertz of prime spectrum covering Steubenville, which not only is the county seat for Jefferson County, but boasts such appealing attractions as the Franciscan University, Old Fort Steuben and the Creegan Animation Factory. Sure it’s no Shelbyville with its yellow fire hydrants, lemon-shaped rocks and that delicious turnip juice, but it’s gotta be worth at least a minimum bid.
And these final days have become painful to watch. Despite attempts by the FC to spike interest by initiating “Stage Two: Electric Boogaloo” and then “Stage Three: Rise of the Machines” bidding rules, interest has dwindled to around a dozen new bids per round. I say the FCC should just shut down the proceedings immediately so we can get to the naming of names and the eating of the ham. Mmmmm ham.
OK! Enough of that.
Thanks for checking out this Worst of the Week column. And now, some extras:
–We got a sweet press release from TNA Wrestling and Longtail Studios last week on their development of the “TNA Wrestling” game for mobile phones. The TNA release notes “TNA Wrestling for mobile is the first mobile wrestling game to truly immerse the player in both the wrestling and storytelling aspects of professional wrestling.” While there is a wireless angle to this release due to the launch of the mobile game, I was more interested in getting as many references to TNA into this as possible. TNA!
–So, now that all the nationwide carriers have jumped on the flat-rate, unlimited-calling bandwagon, when will they take the next step and simplify their pricing plans? Several weeks after Verizon Wireless kicked off the frenzy, some of the nationwide carriers continue to offer rate plans on their Web sites that offer a limited bucket of minutes for more than the $100 price point of their unlimited offerings. Example: Sprint Nextel continues to offer a bucket of 4,000 anytime minutes for $150 per month as well as a $100 plan that includes 1,000 outgoing minutes and free incoming minutes.
I welcome your comments. Please send me an e-mail at dmeyer@crain.com.