A colleague of mine recently announced plans to launch his own mobile virtual network operator service. Without rehashing the scheme, which appears foolproof (at least to me), he noted that since everyone is jumping on the MVNO bandwagon, why not a poor wireless newspaper editor too?
I’m here to one-up that proposal and announce my intentions to launch my own wireless network. Why just rent the pipe when you can own the pipe?
“But where would you get the spectrum for such an endeavor?” you might ask. Why, I will just ask the government to give me a broad swath of clean, clear spectrum. That’s right, give me the spectrum. Sure, the feds could auction the spectrum for untold billions to nameless corporations whose only interest is making money, but I would offer those Washington bigwigs a couple of perks to sweeten the pot-which is all I really have to offer.
The first perk I would offer is to allow public safety to use a portion of the network whenever they need it. That’s right, free access to public safety. That ought to get the attention of politicians looking to extend their stay in Washington in this time of increased security awareness.
Next-and I am being very generous here-I would provide free wireless broadband access to the masses. Of course, those masses will have to put up with some advertisements, but hey, free TV isn’t really free, is it?
In the off chance that my offer might run into some resistance by those fat cats on Capitol Hill, I will give back to the government a small percentage of any money I happen to make off of the advertisements supporting the “free” service. Maybe around 5 percent or so. It never hurts to grease a few palms.
I will be a folk hero, beloved by both the public-safety community and the common man. I will be fulfilling President Bush’s broadband for everyone initiative. Maybe I will even get to hang out with Paris Hilton and Sky Dayton.
Now you may be asking how I will be able to build out such a network covering every square inch of the country. Easy, I will dupe… I mean convince some wealthy investors to fund my plan and then dangle big, fat infrastructure contracts in front of beleaguered vendors that will pay for all the equipment.
I can’t believe no one else has thought of this. Man, I am brilliant!
