Hello!
And welcome to our Thursday column, Worst of the Week. There’s a lot of nutty stuff that goes on in this industry, so this column is a chance for us at RCR Wireless News to rant and rave about whatever rubs us the wrong way. We hope you enjoy it!
And without further ado:
So the Governator signed into law a ban on cell phones and driving in California, just days after showing up at the CTIA Wireless I.T. & Entertainment keynote in Los Angeles. Way to stick it to us, Arnold!
The ban makes it illegal to drive and operate a cell phone, but allows drivers to use hands-free devices to conduct conversations while behind the wheel. (I can almost hear all you headset people out there cheering.) California joins New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, the District of Columbia and various cities in prohibiting drivers from talking on handheld cell phones.
My favorite part of the whole thing is that, right after the announcement, Treo maker Palm somehow used the event as a chance to advertise its products: “With our Treo smart phones, Palm gives drivers numerous options for helping keep their eyes on the road and two hands on the wheel, focusing first and foremost on driving,” said Mary Doyle, senior vice president and general counsel at Palm, in a press release.
Check out the spin on that one. Awesome.
Anyway, although I do enjoy Arnold’s movies (especially “Terminator 2: Judgement Day” and “Robocop”) I have to take issue with this new legislation.
First, this ban is probably going to encourage the use of “dork flags” (which is the hilariously childish nickname I have given to Bluetooth headsets). I think dork flags look funny, and I don’t like them. So there’s that.
But more importantly, why does Arnold feel the need to protect me from cell phones? I know that he has already saved me from Satan (“End of Days”), the T-X (“Terminator 3”), terrorists (“Collateral Damage”), clones (“The 6th Day”), aliens (“Predator”), and other various bad guys, pregnant men, the George Clooney Batman, Sinbad, etc., but does Arnold really need to save me from the horrors of answering a call? Are cell phones really that dangerous?
What I really want is protection from car accidents. Why don’t you legislate that, Arnold?
The sad part about all this is that studies have shown that hands-free gadgets do not necessarily fix the cell phone driver-distraction problem. Further, I’m betting that cell phones are a relatively minor distraction when compared with watching TV, reading a book, eating a salad, and applying mascara (all of which I have seen on the freeway) when driving.
So yes, my point is that the government doesn’t really need to tell me how to use my cell phone. I’m perfectly capable of using it while driving, thank you very much, and I suspect the people who cause accidents while talking on their cell phones do so because they are bad drivers—cell phones or not.
And if you don’t believe me, all you need to do is drive somewhere and keep an eye out for the idiots—are they all on cell phones? I bet not.
OK! Enough of that. Thanks for checking out this Worst of the Week column. Wanna check out other Worst of the Week entries? Click here for past columns. And now, some extras:
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Well, the FCC’s spectrum auction is over… and the most unimportant place in the United States is officially Converse, Wyo. That’s right, the A-block license for good old Converse went for the paltry sum of $7,200—the cheapest license of the 1,087 licenses that were bid on. I wonder if the farmers and ranchers out in Converse are sad about being so insignificant? Probably not.
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Electronic payment company Cyphermint teamed up with a pizza delivery place in Marlborough, Mass., to demonstrate a service where people can pay for a pizza using their mobile phone. That’s right, now all you lazy, pizza-gobbling couch potatoes don’t even have to get out your checkbook, you freakin’ slobs. But the absolute best part of this whole thing is Cyphermint’s press release about this news. Indeed, a picture is worth a thousand hilarious words.
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Purina is selling “pet ringtones” for pet lovers. I… what? Oh, nevermind. Update: A Purina representative kindly informed me that this content is not being sold, it’s actually free of charge.
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So Paris Hilton showed up at the Day 3 keynote of the CTIA Wireless I.T. & Entertainment show last week. Do I even need to say anything funny about this? Probably not. But at least now we know that, as an industry, we really are important… important enough for Paris Hilton to show up to our trade show. Lucky us.
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A couple of carriers, including my friends over at DoCoMo, got together to form the Next Generation Mobile Networks initiative, which looks like it’s going to work on standards for 4G. I just hope this new initiative spends some time figuring out a better name than “Super 3G.” If we’re really lucky, they’ll call their “next generation” network something awesome like “Fabulous 4G” or “Fantastic 5G” or something. That would be so cool.
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Best company name: ManTech International Corp. And no, they don’t make sports cars or charcoal grills or big-screen TVs or anything you would expect a company named “ManTech” to make. They actually make “innovative technologies and solutions for mission-critical national security programs,” which is not at all what I would have expected.
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And now for a little bit of shameless self promotion: Analyst Angle. It’s our new weekly feature, with columns from the industry’s leading analysts. Tired of reading my drivel? Now you have somewhere else to go.
I welcome your comments. Please send me an e-mail at mdano@crain.com.
